A Cloudy Haze & Musings of Maya

Maya : All is Maya

“An abstract morning, isn’t it?” I said yawning.

“What do you mean?”, said the husband giving me a sharp look. It was a bit early for a chat especially when he had Reel-ing to do. (Watching instagram reels, you-tube shorts etc, not merely reeling from the effects of them)

“Cloudy mornings are like that. The reality is a bit muted. As though allowing us the luxury of examining reality through the haze of clouds and mists.”

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He sighed and put down his phone. He clearly wasn’t getting his reality of watching inane reels and cackling at the virtual reality shock-fest it offered.

“Well – you know it feels like you can stop and look at the world, examine and ponder the reality of the world. The excitement it can have without actually doing it on a morning like this.”

Nervous or Excited?

“Did you know? Apparently, when they interview Olympic athletes and ask them if they are nervous before a match or race, they say they are excited.”

“Happy to latch on to something concrete, are you?” I said moving away from the world of Maya.

He grinned.

“Well – maybe they activate the same neural pathways in the brain. Must check it out. They do have similar responses. Adrenaline pumping – making the body ready for the action. “ I said.

“Yes – but maybe Olympic athletes’s brains acknowledging them as excitement rather than nervousness means they perform differently.” He said.

Optimism can be very draining!

The husband is a big sucker for positive thinking and all that lark. The things we have to resort to in order to get him to say he is in pain after playing tennis for days on end, is to be seen to be believed.

“Maybe just sore. ”, he’ll say, wincing.

“Are you in pain? Would you like me to get the Icy Hot balm?”

“Not pain – just a little interesting soreness.”

“You can’t move, can you?”

Laugh.

“Acknowledge you’re in pain, and I’ll get you the Icy Hot.”

“Nope. Never.”

“Fine. Then. Interesting aches do not need medication right?”

“Okay fine – I am pretty sore – can you get me the Icy Hot?”

So it goes.

Optimism! It can be very draining.

Optimism Tales: Goats, Creepers, and Spiders

Optimism as an abstract thought though, that can be entertained. The optimism of goats who make that leap to the tree branch high above, or that creeper that leaps skywards ready to take hold without knowing how, that spider whose web is an architectural marvel – they all must’ve felt optimism to start and stick with their ventures. “Were they excited, nervous? Must interview them and put them on reels so you can find out!” I said sticking my tongue out at him.

Existential Angst & The Creation of Meaning

The son and I were listening to a podcast called Philosophize This on the Creation of Meaning series. Stephen West’s voice filled the kitchen while the week-end cooking was being done by Yours Truly, and a history project was being colored in by the son.

Many of us are familiar with the Existential Quest of mankind. In the absence of knowing exactly what animals think, we assume that as a species, we are uniquely gifted with existential angst. Does a whale worry about it? Do octopuses? Sheep?

Existential Angst

We all feel it at some point in time – some more keenly than others. Some for more prolonged periods in time.

https://www.philosophizethis.org/search?q=creation%20of%20meaning

“Hmm…” we said almost together, and laughed. We were both thinking of that beautiful night a week ago. We were driving towards the middle of nowhere, in search of a parking lot, wide enough to allow us to glimpse the marvels above us, and far away enough from urban settlements to truly allow the darkness of the night to creep in and enclose us. It was during the preceding waxing moon phase, which meant that the skies were moonlit past midnight. So, we started driving past midnight and reached a suitably dark spot at about 3 a.m.

As we gazed up at the stars that summer night leading up to the August full moon, we were filled with this sense of awe. A sense of gratitude for being a part of this incredible universe, and for being able to play a small part in it.

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One of my favorite quotes from Ursula K Le Guin from the Lathe of Heaven is:

“Things don’t have purposes, as if the universe were a machine, where every part has a useful function. What’s the function of a galaxy? I don’t know if our life has a purpose and I don’t see that it matters. What does matter is that we’re a part. Like a thread in a cloth or a grass-blade in a field. It is and we are. What we do is like wind blowing on the grass.”

― Ursula K. Le Guin, The Lathe of Heaven

The Perseid meteor showers were supposed to peak around dawn and we yawned our way through a steaming cup of tea to keep us company during the wait. In time, one or the other of us would yell, “There!”, and the others would moan. Till then, we gazed upwards, our eyes acclimatizing to the dark.

Whether we saw the meteors brightly enough or not, we did land up seeing the Milky Way -cloud-like stretch out and yawn in the canopy above. Lazily strewn – intensely bright in spots, and each star shining to its own capacity.

The Creation of Meaning

Huddled up watching the stars like that lulls the brain into the universe. With a slow sense of serenity and awe pervading your being, I found myself wondering about meaning.

Without meaning to, we attach an awful lot of meaning to many things.

Back in the kitchen, the son & I snapped back, and agreed that as far as meaningful experiences go, stargazing was at the top of the list.

“At what point do we decide that being us is all that is expected of us? Be a planet, be a star, be a galaxy, be an elephant or a human-being. There is nothing else. Why do we keep wanting to do meaningful things?” I asked.

The husband gave me an amused look, and said, “Huh Hmm! Pesu!” (You can Talk!)

I had the grace to laugh.

“But really – why not move to an obscure part of the planet, watch the stars at night and just live a happy life?”

“Why not indeed?“ He said, barely hiding the laughter in his voice.

“If more of us could do that, then existential angst would not be a thing, and without that, are we human-beings? That is how we come full circle or spiral into non-being! Get it? Get it?” I said chuckling. “Even the galaxy’s shape looked like we needed an artist’s rendition to show us the rest of the picture of the spiral. “

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The daughter, who’d come yawning downstairs, said, “Thank goodness I wasn’t here for that meaningless lark. You’d have woken me up, and Euuuhh”, she shuddered and peered into the simmering contents of the stove. “Ahh – all my favorite things today! Thanks Ma!”

“The Creation of Meaning! Ladies & Gentlemen! “ I said with a flourish, and she laughed.

Question for you:

Life’s meaning to each of us is different and it is different at different stages in life. What are some of the things that you think give meaning to life?

Sitare Spotlight Podcast: Gaining Wisdom and Perspective from Diverse Lives

Dear Friends,

I am pleased to announce that we are launching Sitare Spotlight – a Podcast on the India Currents Channel

The Description on the India Currents Channel

Sitare Spotlight is a brand new India Currents podcast, in which host Saumya Balasubramanian interviews prominent individuals from the Indian-American community with diverse interests and professional backgrounds.

For the first episode, Saumya interviewed Krishna Srinivasan, an AI Researcher with google’s DeepMind team. Apart from his professional interest in AI, he also has a deep passion for the Bhagavad Gita and the wisdom it contains. Take a look!

Sitare Spotlight

Sitare means Stars. The theme of this podcast is that we live amidst stars on a daily basis. How would it be if we could gain perspective & learnings from one another? So, we could all shine a little brighter in our own lives?

Why should only books have dedications?

This podcast series, Sitare Spotlight, is dedicated to one the most-oft featured people in the blog ( in fact he is famously known as ‘The Husband’ in our circle of friends), and the children who prod me to try new things and believe I can do it (even as I fumble to open the right song on YouTube for them every time) , with a specific shoutout to the son who learnt video editing and taught me patiently as I tried to piece things together. 

This episode to Lavanyaa Ganesan – Krishna’s better half 🙂 

What Can We Expect From the Series?

The podcast series is aimed to gain perspectives and learnings from the stars in our midst as explained above. I hope to be able to interview people from diverse backgrounds, who inspire us with their lives on a daily basis.

Please share this in your circles and help us all shine a little bit brighter in our own lives.

Rediscovering the Art of Play: Exploring the Wonders of the Solar System

I vividly remember one Science class in which my teacher explained the solar system, our place in it, and how fast we were traveling through Space. It is an incredible concept, and when explained well, can spark interest and curiosity in a young child. I remember being flushed after that Science class, maybe because I was chosen to be the Earth. I had to rotate and spin around one of my best friends who was the Sun. What greater joy could there be?

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 As interesting as the lesson was, what sealed the memory in my mind is the fact that the chosen sun that day was exuberant, the chosen earth was joyous, and the rest of the class giggly and slightly jealous that they weren’t the ones to be given the chance to get up from their seats. The latter point gave way to some accusations about being picked by the teacher  “How come you both were picked? Sitting right next to each other too?”

I saw their point. Usually, teachers are careful about picking volunteers or nominees from opposite ends of the classroom. These little dramas are part of what makes our time together memorable.

The little upset may have dampened our spirits somewhat, but we were quick to regain lost ground. To children who generally liked the joy of spinning, the morning lesson was a gift indeed. To those of you who have not experienced the heady giddy sensation of going round-and-round  recently, please try it again. It is marvelous. If you can find a giggly companion, young at heart, please do so, and it enhances the experience in no small manner. 

Hypothesis, Conclusions, Fact-Checking & Collaborations

I remember it was during our little spin-ney-spin-ney sessions that one of us had a question as to why we feel giddy when we spin. Science is full of people who came up with their hypotheses and then set out to prove it. Our little band of scientists was no less committed. I came up with a perfectly wrong explanation for the phenomenon and it shows the sturdy nature of my friends that no one laughed at me that day. Instead, they indulged me in an experiment. 

“Maybe the Earth is already spinning and when we spin in the opposite direction, it makes us feel dizzy.”  

There were some thoughtful nods at this – “Then we should be able to spin even faster if we were to go the same direction right? “ said one. There was only one way to check – spin in both directions and find out for ourselves if this was the right theory.

 “Which direction does the Earth spin – do you know?” A collective wave of shoulders shrugged at the same time, but little things like this do not deter the determined. Someone said we will just time each other for 10 spins in each direction, adjust for right-handed, left-handed, ambidextrous, null-i-dexterous (the opposite word for being equally clumsy with both hands is called ambisinister, but I think null-i-dexterous sounds kinder) and we would be set.

That’s what we did. The exercise resulted in loud laughter, and the sound waves brought the earlier complainants to the fold wanting to join in the game too. All recent rancors forgotten, the experiments were done with rigor, encouragement and accuracy.

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While we are always in awe of the creative thinkers who take us a leap forward with their works, I have always wondered how each moment came to be: how Thinking Man figured so much out. This is one of the best ways in which I have seen the sentiment expressed.

 Excerpt from The Book That Nobody Read – Chasing the Revolutions of Nicholas Copernicus by Owen Gingrich

“The greatest of scientists have been unifiers, men who found connections that had never before been perceived. Isaac Newton destroyed the dichotomy between celestial and terrestrial motions, forging a common set of laws that applied to the Earth and sky alike. James Clerk Maxwell connected electricity and magnetism, and showed that light was electromagnetic radiation. Charles Darwin envisioned how all-living organisms were related through common descent. Albert Einstein tore asunder the separation between matter and energy, linking them through his famous E=mc^2 equation.”

 

Scientists do not always know what to expect and can sometimes be surprised at the results. That is what happened to us. The results were inconclusive and resulted in:

* One of us falling to the ground laughing heartily

* Another banging their head against a conveniently placed pole nearby 

* Another giving off an inaccurate imitation of a drunkard, which was impressive given that this was happening prior to the Internet or Cable Television, and the child’s parents were teetotallers

* Two subjects crashing into each other mid-orbital, resulting in tummy aches and headaches together 

 Our motley band of scientists had by this time dissolved into a fit of giggles. Good naturedly, we shrugged off the theory, accepting with grace that it may be an erroneous hypotheses and moved on to the next thing to play together. Consensus, criticism, fact checking, and collaborations had been achieved with the greatest of unity and hilarity. 

The Art of Play

In every problem, creativity and imagination are our solid allies. The simple act of playing together and collaborating to solve problems, keeping each other true is now more valued than ever. Today to see that school recess times have come down; children do not play out on the streets in free play mode anymore, but are rather being ferried up and down to supervised, classes with rigid rules of social conduct usually in the presence of adults; and the playgrounds in our neighborhood have become safe havens for spiders to spin their webs. 

Could we add in structured unstructured time – so we can all benefit from free spirited Play once again?

Those who were never exposed to Play may not miss it, but those who know the beauty of it, will always feel the richer for it. Much like Art, Play is Art, and I pray we do not lose the Art of Play.

The Birds of Heaven

“Do you think we’d have seen at least fifteen species of birds?” the husband said, huffing and puffing beside me on his bicycle. 

We had biked up a little hillock, and even though it looked like the sort of thing we’d have torn up while playing hide-and-seek as ten year olds, it proved to be a huffer just a few decades later, Curious how life reminds you about the passage of time and all that right?

“Easily!”  I said, and started listing them off.

  • Hawaiian stilts
  • Terns
  • Avocets
  • Pelicans
  • Geese
  • Ducks (green necked, wood ducks)
  • Quails
  • Egret
  • Heron
  • Green heron
  • Blackbirds
  • Turkeys
  • Turkey vulture
  • Red tailed hawks
  • Grebes
  • Cormorants
  • Coots

The huffing and humming had stilled, and I turned around to see what had happened. The husband grinned sheepishly – “Oh! Yes – might’ve stopped listening after you started listing the birds.”

I laughed. 

It was a beautiful ride by the bay. The colors of the bay combined with the golden light of the evening made for a fantastic setting for all these birds. There was a time when the soft cooing of the birds, the lapping sounds of the waters around us and the flapping of wings was all that could be heard for miles. If there was a heaven, would these birds be there too? I would hope so.

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The Tales of Birds

I am sure the falcons and the avocets have the stories of their lives. That pesky crow that annoys the hawk must have their heroic tales. With their enhanced senses, I have often wondered the world through their lenses.  

In any case, we were racing against the sunset, and time was showing it’s presence with every passing minute. 

The elongated shadows of our bikes finished as my long-nosed shadow hit the garage entrance. “Made me think of all the long-beaked friends we saw today.” I said laughing.

It was true – especially down by the bay where we see many birds fishing, long beaks seem the norm: avocets, terns, pelicans, curlews, herons, egrets. They all have sharp beaks that give them decisive looks. I wonder every time I look at them what goes through their mind as they hunt for their food, look after their young and build their nests. This is, after all, what most of the lifeforms on Earth do. And yet, each does so differently, unique to their species, unique to their abilities, and unique to their habitats.

The last birds I stopped to admire in our race against the sunset were the Hawaiian stilts (curiously these birds were once on the endangered list, but have since made a comeback and I am so glad. ) They are a joy to watch in the sunset’s glorious light, with their pink legs, their sharp beaks, and the black-and-white contrasts.

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Time is a Curiosity

Each of these birds surveys the life beneath the waters differently, and with the deft skills of an archer plunges in for their kill. Their groups merging and reforming with the bay’s tides. Time is a curiosity in these settings, and one can spend hours in these environs, filling the soul.

The trail we are lucky to have access to is beautiful, and every time we set out to catch a little ride by the waters come back more peaceful, filled with gratitude at the marvelous forms of life we share the planet with. I have tried describing rides like this and come up with no one word that can capture it all. Maybe a feeling of abundance? Serenity? In our human existence of intense craving, the ride and what it offers pales in comparison. It is slow, it is present, and it somehow exemplifies your horizons. 

“When we go down to the lowest of the low tide lines and look down into the shallow waters, there’s all the excitement of discovering a new world. Once you have entered such a world, its fascination grows and somehow you find your mind has gained a new dimension, a new perspective — and always thereafter you find yourself remember[ing] the beauty and strangeness and wonder of that world — a world that is as real, as much a part of the universe, as our own. “

– Rachel Carson

Mine Eyes Have Seen The Glory

I have always been fascinated to see the world through another’s eyes. Maybe one of the reasons I am drawn to Fiction. It does seem to be an innate trait too. Obviously when I read the book, Eye By Eye – Comparing How Animals See – By Sara Levine, illustrated by T S SpookyTooth, it brought the eye fascination back in full force.

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I closed my eyes after reading – it was well past midnight – I had probably read 3 or 4 different books and I really needed to sleep if I had to be a functioning adult the next day. So I did. I closed my eyes – wondering about eyes.

If there is one overused trope in fiction, it is the eyes being the mirror of the soul. It is . Please don’t get me wrong. Expressive eyes are amazing. But I do find it over-used. How the eyes turned flat and gray, how the eyes were blue with excitement (Can eye color really change like that?) Also can the eyes show everything happening in another’s soul? The pupils dilated, the eyes red. 

In reality, how often do we sit and observe another’s eyes? I am reminded of this experiment by Sheldon & Penny of Big Bang Theory fame

The Big Bang Theory – Penny and Sheldons love experiment S08E16 [1080p]

However, it is beautiful that we have an organ that allows us to experience our world in such a wonderful manner. In Andy Weir’s book, Project Hail Mary – he meets an alien species, from Erid in the Tau Ceti star system 12 light years from Earth, who do not perceive light. That made for an interesting premise – for they were an advanced civilization able to design space travel etc without sight.

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Hail_Mary

Anyway, where I’m going with all this meandering about light and sight is that, I was shocked to read that some underwater creatures do not perceive the color blue, and navigate a gray world instead. It made me sad for some reason – the blues are all we think of when we think of oceans and the lives it nurtures. How many shades do we have to describe the blues? Cerulean, Turquoise, Teal, Cyan, Aqua, Sky Blue, Royal Blue, Light Blue, Navy Blue and all the shades in between, and yet some creatures of the deep sea see none of that. Starfish, for instance, only perceive light as a vague form of light – they do not perceive differences in wavelength. 

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Cuttlefish, with their pupils W-shaped – what do they perceive? 

Seeing the world through another creature’s eyes can be rewarding, interesting and will make us more empathetic and passionate towards caring for our environment and preserving all the different kinds of life, would it not?

I might have made the goat whose eyes I stared into on my walk very nervous. You see? Ever since I read that goats have rectangular pupils, I am drawn to them. They allow me a moment to observe their pupils, then turn away bored. Interested in getting to that low-lying branch to eat. 

One goat even gave me an amused look – I did not detect amusement in the eyes if that is your question, I saw the face quirking up differently and moving away as though shaking its head.

Books:

The Magic of Waves, Birds and Beach Theories

August rolled around, (and well, a week into August, ) I realized that I had not written a single post. As I racked my mind to see what I’d like to write about, I found my brain in a blissful state of blank.

You see, as August rolled in, we found ourselves welcoming the month lolling on beaches, in art fairs, and in friends’ backyards playing games, chatting and soaking in the summer sunshine. All perfectly pleasant, remarkably blaze, and highly recommended activities. 

Wave Theories

One day at the beach, we walked – a jagged path dodging waves, chatting of wave dynamics and such. The predictions on the reach of small waves, vs the bigger ones proved to be a particularly engaging activity. It was curious to see how many times the smaller waves reached the farthest as though they didn’t believe in bravado and overt shows of strength, but simply did what needed to be done. The big waves made huge splashes, but fizzled out quicker. Very few were impressive in both size and reach. 

It also led to some hilarious moments remembering old professors drone on about Wave Theory.

Bird Theories

We watched hundreds of seagulls take to the skies for no apparent reason, and come back together for the same reason.

  • Could there have been a call to duty that was rendered unnecessary?
  • Were there portals for the gullible opening? (Get it? Get it?)
  • How much we creatures need to communicate with one another.

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Books at the Beach

I also found myself reading my first book by Salman Rushdie:Two Years, Eight Months, & Twenty Eight Nights

I found the book a good one to read at the beach: It feels possible to imagine jinns who made love with humans 800 years ago, and magic portals opening up to let the worlds in, while there. After all, there is an infinite sense of possibilities while lying calmly on a beach and reading. 

Sand Castle Theories

After all, it is where we build sand castles, and let our imaginations run wild:

  • Could it be as a volcano erupting 300 years ago?
  • The moats around the castle could have been the battlefield of a thousand troops. 
  • The secret passageways within the sand castles could be the architects way to ensure people could flee.

Oceansides and beaches may just be the magic we all need in our lives every now and then.

“The sea can do craziness, it can do smooth, it can lie down like silk breathing or toss havoc shoreward; it can give gifts or withhold all; it can rise, ebb, froth like an incoming frenzy of fountains, or it can sweet-talk entirely. As I can too, and so, no doubt, can you, and you.”

― Mary Oliver, A Thousand Mornings: Poems