Tag: Humor

Ephemeral Fashion: The Humor in Childhood Wardrobes

We were sitting around waiting for an event to start, huddled under a shamiyana-like structure. The rain was pouring – the way it pours in the Nilgiris. All the metaphors and mythos of Great Rains seem very likely, and just like that the skies clear up, and one wonders what happened. Where the rains went and how life goes on as though nothing happened. Dramatic skies are truly nature’s mystics. 

Anyway, there we were, sitting around under a canopy waiting for the event to begin, when a young fellow walked past us in his too-big uniform. The seams of his pants were getting wet from the puddles from the recent rains, his shoes a size bigger, his blazer two sizes bigger, and I couldn’t help smiling. 

I caught the smile on my friends faces too, and we exchanged a quiet moment of reflection. How as children, we were really never properly dressed. All our new clothes were slightly big. Prudence, economic necessity, environmental concerns – whatever the name given, ‘too big’ was the style. 

Goldilocks Style

There was a phase in life when we were dressed in either too-big-new-clothes or too-small-old-clothes. Goldilocks could’ve had a philosophical lesson or two if she’d stopped by and seen us. Life truly taught us the beauty of ephemeral pleasures with clothes – that brief, all-too-quick time when your clothes fit perfectly is never long enough to feel well-dressed. Sigh. 

“Those dreaded hand-me-downs!” I said and shuddered, exchanging a look with the sister, and she gave me one of her joyous cackles. You see? The sister and I have very different bone structures. Hers was what my mother approved of and called Healthy. Mine, on the other hand, made my mother scrunch up her nose, and wonder about what she could be doing better to help things along. But such is fate. The sister’s hand-me-downs, therefore, swamped my scrawny frame (Oh! How I miss those days of being nonchalantly petite and being able to tuck into stacks of buttered toasts without a second thought?!). I perennially looked like I was dressed in pillow covers. Very house-elfish fashions for Yours Truly. 

Nostalgia

That’s how we found ourselves going down the path of “Oh gosh – do you remember?”

And “It should’ve been outlawed. Remember when …” 

The mother was a self taught seamstress and she spent her evenings after school (she was also a high school Physics and Maths teacher) sitting and stitching all manner of clothes for her children and herself. The father escaped. Men’s fashions were where she drew the line. The lucky man! 

https://nourishncherish.org/2012/06/12/what-the-well-dressed-man-is-wearing/

It was a matter of great pride for my mother who learnt tailoring so she could stitch our clothes, alter them when necessary etc.

Frilly Fashions

The mother had no access to fashion magazines, and in those days of Doordarshan, one could not get many inspirations from television either. So there we were. There was a phase when she learned how to stitch Frills. Victorian tailors couldn’t compete when she was in this phase. All our clothes had frills all over.  Years later, I pointed to one monstrous pink dress in a photograph, and asked her what she was thinking of, and she looked confused. 

“Frills made you look bigger and better. “ she said.

Obviously. No irony, no sarcasm. I didn’t have the heart to tease her then. She was still so proud of her frills. Never mind that it made me look like a strawberry in pineapple clothing.

When finally I put my foot down and refused any more of her creations, she conceded to have the school tailor, Paada, stitch our clothes. A distinct improvement but still not exactly fashionable. Where would he get ideas in a village nestled in the Nilgiris with a population of less than a 1000 people?

I can’t tell you how grateful I was for uniforms. As we sat there looking at growing children dressed in slightly loose and big clothes, I felt like the universe really does have a sense of humor.

I truly understand now Bertie Wooster’s pride in his article he submitted to Aunt Dahlia’s newspapers on ‘What the Well-Dressed Man is Wearing’. Trying to capture the ephemeral is what Art is all about, isn’t it?

Imagined Realities

I read some books over and over again. I confess to being an Anglophile too considering the amount of time spent as a child reading about the English countryside. That love for English literature has not diminished. Enid Blyton, Agatha Christie, P G Wodehouse and Jane Austen may be gone, but the likes of Miss Read, J K Rowling, Jeffrey Archer, Stephen Fry, Gerald Durrell, Alexander McCall Smith and Jacqueline Winspear came in. It is why whenever I set foot in the United Kingdom, I suffer from an acute case of star-struckedness. There is a luminosity to my imagined version of the UK, even if the reality has been different in some cases. 

Scones & Jams

When I first ate a scone, I was a little let down. I’d read about scones and jams for decades, and had envisioned a rather elaborate affair waiting to overwhelm the senses. I remember walking into this little tea place in Oxford, bursting at the seams with excitement, and ordering scones and jams. I already was a little star-struck. I had never in my wildest dreams imagined that I could travel to Oxford, let alone order scones at a local tea-room. 

Imagined Realities

This is why I am always a little nervous when good books are made into movies, or good settings are translated to theme parks. They can be marvelous, or they can fail to live up to one’s imagination. The scones, I am sorry, did not live up my imagination. They were tasty enough – just not what I had imagined. Now, years later, the name ‘scone’ still conjures up misty hillsides and picnic baskets with clotted creams, and cucumber sandwiches, scones and jams, replete with berries and fruit. But I have managed to live with the earthly version being presented to me.

The same thing happened the first time I tasted Butterbeer in Harry Potter World at Universal Studios. I don’t know what I was expecting exactly, but it wasn’t that.

Life can be that way. Teaching you reality in funny ways. Oh well!

I felt the same when I saw the gazania flowers. Don’t get me wrong – I love the vibrant colors and the rather distinct kolam shape gazanias have. But when younger, not having access to the internet etc, the name inspired a rather more mystical and tremendous shape in my mind’s eye. Like the Brahma Kamalam flowers, or the moon-lilies, I dream of under the ocean. If there are such things, I am not sure how much they will love up to my imagined version of them. 

Which brings me to the virtual or artificial intelligence based realities.

AI Realities

Sometimes, as I am writing up a post, I try to imagine the AI generated image my post would produce, and I am, many times, disappointed. Sorry to see that most of the time the AI generated ones are like seeing the real scones after my imagined versions. But they are better than the stick figure atrocities that I was coming up with, so there’s that. 

I wonder how much of life is like that. Imaginations far better than realities. Maybe that is the real reason, humanity seeks to set store by entertainment. We have gone from myths, ballads, novels to movies, soap operas, sports shows, to social media, and short bursts of wisdom. Maybe all of this is really a quest to see how best human imaginations can stretch. Why magic seems to still take a hold of our imaginations. 

PS: I also have to admit that in a post where I am writing about human imagination being far superior and the AI image falling short, this post actually generated an image better than what I was imagining. Really – life can be a teacher with a sense of humor!

What do you think? Where have your imaginations been disappointed by the realities?

“Few people have the imagination for reality”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The Joys of Library Browsing

Yap Yap, Chat Chat, Chop Chop!

“Enough yapping! Chop! Chop!” I said trying to herd the children out. We had worked hard to carve this time out for ourselves and I was excited. We talked the whole way there. Or rather, they yapped, and I listened. I can’t say I understood- but the number of phrases and words that seem to make no sense seems to increase over time. Age really is a funny thing. It takes everything mutable, garbles it with time, and presents a slightly unintelligible version to you.

“Anyway – excited?”

“Yes Mother!” They chanted. How one phrase can hold both a dutiful and a sarcastic response I don’t know, but that, right there is another thing the young seem to have down. Sigh.

Library Browsing

It seemed like a long time since we’d had a children’s book read-a-thon, and so off we were, to the library. We meandered through the library shelves each of us taking our time, wondering how long it would take us to find things once the reshelving was done.

Library browsing is one of the most under-rated pleasures of the world. We each came back with a stash of books in our hands, and picked out a sunny nook in which to curl up and read for just a few minutes before heading back home to hole up in our home.

If we run out of words – By Felicita Sala

One of my favorite books from this haul happened to be – If we run out of words – By Felicita Sala

Version 1.0.0

It is an innocent earnest worry of a child’s turned into a book. What if you run out of words to speak?

The increasingly exaggerated lengths to which the father would go to find words makes it a sweet story and finishes on a predictable, but heart-tugging phrase that remains unspoken. That is how you bring a smile to the face of children and adults reading the book. Well done Felicita Sala!

When there are words everywhere, words can be swords, pinpricks, thumps just as much as they can be balms of kindness and encouragement. I closed the book, and realized that fears, worries and anxieties come in so many forms. Speaking about them to the ones who matter is the key, says every wise one, but that remains the most difficult thing in the world. For don’t words spoken have to be heard?

The children (one a teenager and the other a young adult) picked up the book, and eloquently summed the book up “Duh! Bruh!”

Why the World Seems Smaller Today

“The Earth feels so small, doesn’t it?” I said it like it was a profound revelation.

The daughter looked up from fiddling on her phone. She briefly glanced out of the window to see where we were. I could almost see the thought process map itself out in her brain. If we are close enough to the destination, she could just nod and not respond. But if there was a while to go, responding did not seem a bad idea. I smiled.

“Calculating, my dear?” I said and gave her impish smile. She shot me a shrewd one back.

Then, with remarkable self control, she said, “What do you mean?”

So, I rambled on about how air travel has made the Earth smaller. “When I was young, airplanes were there, but I never thought I’d get on one, let alone travel to all these exotic places we’ve been to. “

“Mums-ie?” She pulled me back as I zoned out a bit. I laughed and said, “Yes – I mean, probably why reading felt like the best way to travel for all of us. The Voyages of Dr Doolittle, and Gerald’s Durrell’s Corfu series were made all the more entrancing thanks to the limited to slim chance of ever flying. But now – so many of us can go anywhere – with visa and money and flight tickets of course.”

“So .. Earth smaller?”

“Yep!”

“You do have a point. But isn’t that a good thing? Think about colonialism – it was enabled, and many horrendous things were done to the colonies because humans could very easily say – they are very different, and therefore not us. “

“You mean, conscience could be explained away?”

“Yeah…. But now, with education, google translate, and travel, you realize that a human being is a human being with all the range of emotions, flaws and strengths as anyone else, anywhere else. So, it is a better Earth too. Isn’t it?”

I nodded and thought about it. She was right of course, and I enjoyed her perspective.

While the world has become a smaller and more accessible place, it also means that our fortunes and misfortunes travel just as quickly. It was why Covid-19 shut the whole world down. A pandemic that spread so quickly, it stumped all of us: scientists, doctors, government officials, companies.

The way things are changing in the world is alarming too. Air spaces closed twice in the past month over two global events that affected millions – The Iran-Israel situation & The India-Pakistan situation.) When I thought of this, the Earth seemed like a formidable planet of distances indeed.

The daughter unaware of this inner squabbling raised her eyebrows when I said,“Hmm…even so, sometimes everything feels so far away. Must you go now? Can’t you fool around here with us for another few weeks?”

“Uh hm… Yes Mother. I am going tomorrow, but not that faraway – the Earth is small, remember?” , she said, and I laughed weakly.

The Joys & Jams of Plum Picking

Feeling Plum?

“Go on! Ask me How I am feeling.”

Eye roll.

“Just ask.”

“Fine! How are you feeling?”

“Plum!”

Then I laughed, and the children exchanged concerned glances at each other. Completely lost on them, of course. So, I set about explaining Plum minutiae to a mildly uninterested audience.

I have been thinking of P G Wodehouse during plummy times. (P G Wodehouse was called Plum by his close friends and family)

I have been thinking of little passages from Miss Read’s books as she wrote about making jams and chutneys for bazaars from the excessive plums and marrows during summertime.

How lucky country children are in these natural delights that lie ready to their hand! Every season and every plant offers changing joys. As they meander along the lane that leads to our school all kinds of natural toys present themselves for their diversion.

– Miss Read

I told the children about eating so many berries as children in the countryside in the Nilgiris, it made us slightly sick.  But, I also told them about how it was the most fulfilling thing in the world, and they rolled their eyes again.

An Excess of Plums

You see? We are having an excess of plums.

Some days I would gaze up at the branches – grateful for the bounty. Other days, I would step into a mushy one that plopped into my path and spattered and mutter to myself. Plum season is upon us, and nobody is spared. Neighbors, gardeners, cleaners, household helpers, friends, family. Everybody is gifted with plums. 

I stood one evening determined to make the best of the plum bounty, and set about making batches of plum pickle, plum jam, plum chutney, and plum juice. I also might’ve eaten a few plums. It was beautiful. The evening light was streaming in through the kitchen bay windows bathing all the world in a luminous glow. The plums were freely squirting their juices into the stovetops, the floors, the kitchen counters, my clothes, and the children stood around helplessly in the melee. 

“Amma – you’re going cuckoo! Can’t you just leave the plums?!”

I gasped for dramatic measure and said that prudent folks saved the excess. 

“Another 10 have fallen from the tree since you came in ½ an hour ago. Let it go!” said the daughter. Seeing that lunatic obstinate look on my face, she decided that the best thing to do was to leave me alone and took mocking videos of me instead.

I sorely regretted this plummy splash of enthusiasm a few hours later. I had sticky juice everywhere, a jar of jam, a jar of pickle and two bottles of sour juice. But I also had the back-breaking task of cleaning up the kitchen. The mops ran red, the washcloths turned pink, the tissues soaked and cleaned like they had never done before, and yet the kitchen was nowhere close to done.

I tell you. 

Black & Blue & Plum

The next day, I plucked and picked more plums and gave them to my friends. “Err…it’s okay! I have some!” they said.

“Oh! Sure – that’s nice. Don’t worry – I’ll walk over and give them to you.” I said smartly, putting the phone down before they could say no, and walked over.

“Would you like some blackberries?” said one of them, and I beamed at her. 

“Oooh! That’d be a nice change of pace from plums!” I said, and set about picking the blackberries and popping them in the mouth. The friend peeked into the bag and said, “Plums might make a change from blackberries!”

We looked at each other – lips stained with blackberry and plum juice and started laughing so hard, it was hard to stop. 

I’d call that a fruitful week-end, wouldn’t you?

Exploring Dragons: Myths to Movies

No!

“You’re inviting me to a movie?” I asked, incredulous. 

Usually, I am begging to go to the movies with them, and the response is “No!”. Curt no’s, polite no’s, humorous no’s. But ‘No’. The fault, I admit, is on both sides. I fall asleep before the movie starts, but the theatres make you fall asleep even before the movie starts. What’s with all the dimming of the lights, and the trailers for every movie they are thinking of releasing in the next decade? What’s a good, hard-working woman to do in a comfortable reclining seat at the end of a long day with some inconsequential music playing in the background, and the popcorn butter doing its magic in the old intestines, huh?

I start with a simple meditation technique involving closing the eyelids for a few beats of music longer, and then a few frames of trailer longer, and before I know it, the magical lands open to the subconscious mind throw open the cosmic doors, and I float in with a smile on my lips. The theatre hears a dramatic hiss at this point in the proceedings: “Amma! Get up! The movie started and you missed the opening!” 

Anyway, this time, the dragons of sleep may have made valiant attempts to snatch my consciousness to their realms, but I was firm, and resolute. I was going to watch the dragons take the sheep in the movie, not in my dreams. 

“Wake me up when the movie starts!” I said before starting the m. technique.  

“If you don’t get up, I’ll…I’ll”

“What? Tickle me?! Please!” said I, and drifted off. 

I was happy to learn that I was invited because the movie was good for me: not too much violence, has a happy ending, is not too depressing, and has dragons and humans in a beautiful setting. 

How to Train your Dragon 

Based on the novels by Cressida Crowell, this is a wonderful story of a boy who seems to be a reluctant heir to the vikings chief, and a soft-hearted, intelligent misfit in a bunch of knuckleheads who all value brawn over brain. I have always liked the series, and when I read Cressida Crowell’s article on her childhood influences, it only made the series dearer.

However, I still do not understand the impulse of large studios to remake the same stories over and over again. Did you really have to take the same movie again? 

Does Harry Potter really need a remake this soon?

Our Fascination with Dragons

In any case, the fascination of humankind with dragons is millennia old and the number of dragon stories is near inexhaustible. So, I am sure there isn’t exactly a dearth of dragon content. 

How could human imaginations in the absence of social media have imagined similar creatures (Fire breathing, of giant aspect and size ) the world over? 

Our tales speak of dragons across time and geographies too. 

Ancient Aliens: Mythical Dragons Across the Ages

“Speak politely to an enraged dragon” – JRR Tolkien

The metaphors of inner dragons are just as widespread

“You can’t map a sense of humor. Anyway, what is a fantasy map but a space beyond which There Be Dragons? On the Discworld, we know that There Be Dragons Everywhere” – Terry Pratchett

“This Marcius is grown from man to dragon: he has wings; he’s more than a creeping thing.”  – Shakespeare. It describes the transformation of the play’s protagonist, into a figure of immense power and ferocity. 

With all the imagery, humor and wit we have humankind must continue on in its quest to slay its inner and outer dragons, with the motto of Hogwarts in mind

‘Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus’ – which means ‘Never tickle a sleeping dragon‘ – J K Rowling 

P.S: The children did tickle me when the movie started, and I am happy to say I enjoyed the movie.

Finding Calm Amidst the Chaos of Life

May seemed to me an especially fast merry-go-round. The spinning was fun, the laughter for all those involved loud, and the merriment infectious. But as June came around, I had the feeling of being dizzy without the fun bits. The world still seemed to be spinning, but the merry-go-round had stopped. Life had resumed. Normal life had resumed, I mean. 

One rare afternoon, I sat trying to soak in the quiet of the evening, and felt strange. I usually relish these moments of solitude. I reached for my books, and found that the mind and body were racing far too much for quiet contemplation. Even though the book I had in my hand was a perfectly good one on Writing, exhorting me to pay attention to the following aspects of life (Attention, Wonder, Vision, Surprise, Play, Vulnerability,  Restlessness, Connection, Tenacity, Hope), I could not slow down enough to take it all in. 

I gave in to the impulse of watching Instagram reels, and got a ridiculous song stuck in my head, I went into Facebook, and scrolled – joyless and felt more drained by the end of it. That is when I knew that what I needed to get back to a slower pace of activity was to reach for a tried-and-tested book: Changes in Fairacre – By Miss Read. I took a deep breath as I entered the village of Fairacre.

For some folks, music does the magic. The mother-in-law said she listened to Amaidhiyaana Nadhiyinilae Odum – a tamil song whose lyrics evokes the imagery of a smooth flowing river and all its associated imagery. I can see how that can be a calming influence on the senses. 

For Yours Truly, it was a Fairacre book, By Miss Read. The slow and endearing life a village school mistress leads, is therapeutic. Maybe it takes me back to the idyllic times of my own childhood – growing up in a small village community, where both my parents were school teachers. The imagery she evokes of the beautiful countryside makes you think of the maxim: 

Nature never hurries and yet accomplishes everything – Lao Tzu.

Nevertheless, that evening when my restless legs stepped out for a walk, I forced myself to slow down, to feel the breeze, to look at the rays of sunshine shining like little sparkling diamond strings through the evening air. The smell of sage and lavender crushed in my palms like a beautiful balm for the soul. 

It helped but it still took some time. For those of us who refuse to do the hard work of trying to still our senses and the world around us, the merry-go-round can keep going. That night I thought of Miss Read’s observations on modern children (her books were written a good 30 years ago, but it seems truer today than ever before) 

“What I do feel that the modern child lacks, when compared with the earlier generation, is concentration, and the sheer dogged grit to carry a long job through.”

― Miss Read, Village Diary: A Novel

Truly chastened, I settled in with a mellow light throwing a comforting gleam on my bedside table, took a deep breath, and immersed myself as best as I could in village life. Sturdy, slow, and reassuring.

The Magic King of the Coconut Kingdom

The Cognitive Model

“What were you two yapping about and giggling about the whole time?” the husband said, peering into a photograph at the upanayanam ceremony. 

He might have been short of breath after reciting and repeating endless mantras, but the children & I were short of breath trying to hold in our laughter several times – mainly because we had more time on our hands and little to do while on stage. 

“Well – which time? We got into trouble several times with everyone!” I giggled.

“Pick one!”

“Well Fine! I’ll tell you. This is when this fellow said, ‘If ever there was a time to run a cognitive interpretation model and turn the chanting into tonal bits, and then try to get  a translated gist, this is it.’ – That was so like him, that I couldn’t stop laughing. And then everybody shushed me!”

The husband gave the son an amused look, and then said, “Was that what he was saying? It sounded like a song!”

“Well – yes, he was singing. What were you singing?”I said, rounding on the son. I remember the whole hall giving me the pursed-lip and furrowed-brow routine, for his lip sync was clearly off from what his father was droning on the other side of me.

“Oh – that!” 

“Please don’t tell me you were singing Hamilton!” I said.

“Well – phew! Then I won’t get in trouble. No! I was not singing Hamilton, Amma!”

The Magic Coconut Kingdom

I raised my eyebrows and he said, in a somewhat more  abashed tone of voice, “First, I thought the coconut looked funny – like a wizard coconut, with a magic hat. The king of the coconut kingdom!” he puffed his chest out, and his ribs pushed out from under his shirt.

They had decorated that coconut very fancifully. I remember thinking to myself that the coconut looked marvelous. Even without all of this, the coconut is a swell thing, but with some stripes of ash across its face, a huge red dot on its handsome visage, and a silk turban like hat, dashing was the word. #Kalasam

“So, anyway, I imagined the coconut using its magic powers to fight the flames from the fire.. The coconut king, friends with the liquid ghee, used to fan the fire onwards and well – you know how it is, right amma?”

I nodded indeed. The coconut, in combination with the fumes, and the silks on one’s body is fertile ground for fanciful thinking. The chanting in the background can be very soothing for the imagination to pound on. 

Epiphanies of Spiritual Visions?

Religious rituals in Hinduism have a curious character – they rely heavily on the men to perform them, but need the women to hover and lend support at all times. The upanayanam ceremony is no different. The son had nothing to do but indulge in his childish dreams for the first hour or so. 

I wrote about it briefly here: Upanayanam: Insights into a traditional ceremony

Behind every beautiful moment are hundreds of moments leading up to it. The decorations, the coming together of everything in one swoop, the invites, availability of people and dates, and so much more. For one event to happen, even if the hero/heroine of the event is unaware, it means combined efforts from many people – mostly loved ones.

When finally it all comes together, there is much chatter, excitement, frazzled feelings, tension, drama, joy, laughter. Then, just when you wonder what to make of it all, out of the blue, a moment of rare insight, like peeking into a well, and catching the glimpse of a fish for an instant, appears before you.

If it was the coconut that gave that to the son, so be it. 

For me, it was the son’s quip on the cognitive model to apply to the tonal information. 

I hope the husband and daughter found that moment too. They must have judging by the looks of surprised happiness the pictures seem to get a glimpse of.

The Junior Hydrographer’s Revenge: A Maritime Tale

I was wearing a t-shirt that said, “I am introverting!”and skipped my way to the pile of books by my bedside table. Maritime adventures awaited. 

I was reading the book, The Sea Chart – By John Blake

The book is fascinating to thumb through. Maps in varying degrees of intrigue, complexity and use over the years is there, along with plenty of information about maritime cartography. It also contains interesting anecdotes such as the one about the junior hydrographer’s revenge.

The Junior Hydrographer’s Revenge

A lieutenant in the Royal Navy of England served under one of the hardest captains of maritime history at the time: Captain Alvin Coote Corry. The man had more officers court-martialed than all the other captains of the time put together. Naturally, he was not a beloved leader. 

His discipline led to being obeyed, but the last laugh is still reverberating through the ages. 

It was a beautiful day in the Aegean Sea near modern day Greece. The year was 1903. The ship, HMS Hydra, and crew had just docked at Port Mudros for a rare day off, and the pleasant conditions on the island beckoned. Much like his fellows, a junior hydrographer, Captain Lockyer, was looking forward to shooting partridges and dreaming about being reunited with his girlfriend back home. He had a special name for her too, Nulma. Dreams about Nulma, and a day loping after partridges looking out in the Aegean Sea – what more could he ask for?

The joy must have shown on his crew’s face, for the disciplinarian in Captain Alvin Coote Corry could not permit it. He ordered them to survey the island, and each of them were tasked with a hard day’s labor. Cartography, in the absence of modern technology is a demanding routine, and the hydrographers were miffed. 

Lieutenant Lockyer seeing that he had no option but to obey the irascible Captain got his revenge though: He named four hills on the chart which was then sold world-wide: Yam, Yrroc, Eb, and Denmad. Read backwards, the import is clear. 

He also named a hill he liked after his girlfriend, Nulma.

Maritime Stories

Maritime adventures over the past 2000 years have been fantastic at times (ex: the creation of Carta Marina. It is a fascinating geological map showing the mythical monsters in the oceans and where they are to be found. )

The Kraken Sleepeth

Completed by Olaus Magnus in Italy in the mid sixteenth century, it attempts to outline all the monsters known at the time in the Nordic regions from various accounts. 

With modern technology, the seas have been explored much more, but still retain an allure and a mystery that beckons humanity.

The Poochandi: Fear, Eunoia, and Allodoxaphobia

The Poochandi

“Acchichoo – Poochaandi varum!” 

Many of us growing up must’ve heard of the famed poochandi. He is ominous and omnipresent. The poochandi is the South Indian version of the bogeyman

In one of R K Narayan’s stories in the Grandmother’s Tales or Malgudi Days, I forget which one, he writes about this vague poochandi. The poochandi is a ghost or nefarious persona, whose purpose in life seems to vary: Frighten children into swallowing the next morsel of rice, or getting the slightly older ones to come home soon, or the daughter-in-law of the house to light the lamps on time every time. 

I remember thinking that the poochandi seemed like a busy, if slightly jobless character.

As we grew older, the poochandi was replaced by ‘They’ as in Society. 

What would They say? 

🫠 You aren’t making a 5 course meal in between the 3 course meals that are each 4 hours apart? What would They say?

🫠You aren’t wearing a 9 yard saree so you can pour water droplets on a coconut? What would They say?

🫠You aren’t making murukkus as well as halwa for Diwali? What would They say?

They were all-knowing & all-judging. 

If you were perfect, They knew all the ways in which you were not. 

So imagine finding out that fear of what They would say actually has a word? 

Allodoxaphobia & Eunoia

Allodoxaphobia: fear of what other people think of you. 

I first read the word in the book, Build the life you want – by Oprah Winfrey, Arthur C Brooks

Allodoxaphobia can work in strange ways – sometimes, it can make us function in ways that enhance our positive qualities. Other times, it can burden us with a mindset that we neither grow out of, nor discard easily. 

They and the Poochandi worked full-time to keep you pliant.

In the face of this, what can we do to retain and maintain our eunoia?

Eunoia? You ask. I am glad you asked. You didn’t? Well, here I go anyway.

Eunoia – is a beautiful word that signifies a positive and kind disposition. The kind of personality that develops out of cultivating beautiful thinking or a well-balanced mind. 

The ability to choose without spurning, live without hurting (others or ourselves), etc are extraordinarily hard things to do. It is why philosophers set great store by it and acknowledged this to be a great thing.

Sometimes what They say, and what the poochandi threatens aligns with our inner sense of eunoia. But when they don’t align, how do we balance the cultivation of eunoia against what They will say?

Eunoia means doing the hard work of finding our morality, and sticking by it regardless of what They say, even if the Poochandi will find you for it. Eunoia means being personable and helpful without giving yourself over to Them and Their demands. 

Sometimes, just sometimes, I’d like to find the poochandi and work with them to change what They say. A Poochandi who will give you a nod or a pat on your back when you clip unkindness in the face. A Poochandi who will not turn a blind eye to cruelty,  and arrogance, say? 

Here is a two-part question to you?

  • What would you like your Poochandi to do?
  • How do you cultivate Eunoia?