A Gujarati lady (let’s call her Geeta Ben) comes in and helps me with the cooking once in a while. She talks in what she thinks is Hindi and I do the same. I think my Hindi is better though. I told her to use very little oil and no sugar in her dishes. The ‘No sugar’ was a bit of a blow to her, but she bore it stoically, shook her head and added a disclaimer that she was not sure how the dishes would turn out without sugar and very little oil. She tried anyway. They turned out to be fabulous.
The usual fare is some chappatis, a few aloo parathas for the daughter and a side dish or two. I don’t think our conversations can bear any more than that.
A sample of our conversation is presented for your reference:
Once our small talk is complete Geeta Ben asks for “Aadu” (‘Aadu’ in Tamil means ‘goat’ incidentally. I can be pretty sharp when I want to and rule out the possibility of Geeta Ben asking for a goat to make a vegetarian dinner. )
“Aadhu?”
“Haan aadhu – soonth na adhu”
Apart from the “Haan”, the rest pretty much washed over me. I try to clear my fuzzy brain by guessing that she has the chillies, she has the garlic, it must be ginger that she is asking for and say “You mean Adhrak?” Years of fantasizing about ‘Adhrak Chai’ leave me in no doubt that Adhrak is ginger. But Geeta Ben disagrees.
“Na – aadhu – aaisa” and she mimes a ginger for me.
I’ve played dumb-charades in my time. (I can’t say I am stellar, but I manage. I have some blogs on Dumb-C that I will have to get to one day), but I have to admit ‘Ginger’ would have had me stumped. How do you enact a piece of Ginger for the audience? Yet Geeta Ben doesn’t flinch. She gives off a performance of a carrot, but I reach for the ginger anyway. She congratulates me on my quick wit (in Gujarati) and I beam. She could well be calling me a dumb ass but she would not do that. Geeta Ben is too sweet for that – she has an innocence about her that makes it hard for people of her caliber to call people dumb-asses.
And so it goes: Geeta Ben gets her laugh; we get tasty food.
Some friends of ours had come to stay with us for a few days and it so happened that Geeta Ben wanted to come in at a time we were not sure we would be home. But our friends(Mr and Mrs Friend) said they would be home then and off we all went after telling Geeta Ben to hop on over. I could have told her that my friends would be home, but I did not want to risk saying something like that on the phone. Once before I got chatty on the phone with her and she thought she was not supposed to come and went off to the Temple. So, Geeta Ben knocked and my friend opened the door. Poor Geeta Ben’s smile went halfway through and then recognition hit. Her smile froze when Mrs Friend welcomed her into the house. She first tried peering past her to see if she had the right house. The decor seemed to indicate the right house. She asked her, “Shoma Ben?” Mrs friend assured her it was my house and welcomed her once again.
Poor Geeta Ben took a few steps into the house and stopped hard in her tracks. See, she could take a friend opening the door, but she hadn’t really bargained for the next scene. There was Mr Friend lounging around on the sofa with a glazed look on his face in his banian. Mr Friend was working, and when working, he dons a look that stumps the best of us. It knocked the wind out of Geeta Ben. She ran past him into the kitchen and took refuge in her work. Just when Geeta Ben put her mind to rest and started off with the dishes, Mrs Friend conveyed my request to make Mooli Parathas(radish parathas).
“Mooli?”
“Haan Mooli.”
“Nahin aloo na aloo”
“No – aloo nahin – mooli paratha”
“Magar mien Aloe paratha hee banathee hewn”, (I always make aloo parathas) says Geeta Ben making round ball like movements with hands – falling to her time-tested habit of miming potatoes when in the presence of the weak Hindied. The miming catches on and Mrs Friend tries miming a radish.
It was during the radish vs potato miming competition that the husband walked in and Geeta Ben breathed again. At least she was in the right house. She knows better than to ask for clarifications to the husband in Hindi. An encounter in Hindi with the husband is not for the weak of heart. She makes a brave face that all is not lost in the house and Radishes or Potatoes, Mr & Mrs Friend or no, she will make what she is told before the husband starts explaining in Hindi.
She almost hugged me when I came into the kitchen and half apologetically asked me whether Mooli parathas was what I conveyed. I nodded and her heart resumed beating at a normal speed again. Bless Geeta Ben!
Nourish-n-Cherish 
This one tickled my funny bones 🙂
Thanks Sush 🙂 I am not sure whether you remember my Hindi at all, but if you do, I am sure you will understand….
This is hilarious!!! Poor Geeta ben would never have bargained for working in a pattar maami’s house especially where the husband has a serious challenge with Hindi !!!!
I know! But Geeta Ben always asks whether Bhaiya likes the food!
“An encounter in Hindi with the husband is not for the weak of heart” — very touching…;)
I was laughing like crazy through the whole thing Suresh…but this line stopped me on my tracks 😛
Blame the “Hindi Prachar Sabha”…:)
The famous Prathmic first class see?
It is because she is Gujarati. My hindi is perfectly fine.
Lol!! I was laughing hard! :–D I have one gujju lady who is eyeing us poort new parents to find employment. Dont we get south indian cooks here? :–( I thought anything was possible in the bay area!
I think Gujarathi and Punjabi ladies are easier to find since they started immigrating more than a generation ago SK.
“I can be pretty sharp when I want to and rule out the possibility of Geeta Ben asking for a goat to make a vegetarian dinner” – ROTFL
“Once before I got chatty on the phone with her and she thought she was not supposed to come and went off to the Temple.” – Another funny nugget.
Thanks Sri 🙂
So funny…! you are such an excellent story teller.
Thanks Maha….
Hilarious!! I wish I had been there to have seen Mr. Friend In his banian and sporting a glazed look. 🙂
Yeah – you were too lost in your work to notice Mr Friend Manu
OMG!!! This is soo funny!!!! Loved your entire recital of the whole sequence!! Hope Geeta ben stays and gives you lot more blog fodder!! I would like to link this post to my Friday weekend reading series, if that is okay with you!!
I would love that Mom of A and a. Thanks for doing it….
Hi, I linked this post to my latest Friday post!
Thanks Mom of A & a. I love the series of yours/
ROFL. Reminds me of the time when we had a Punjabi ben cooking.. Imagine Suresh carrying on a conversation in Hindi with her.. 🙂
Truth about Suresh is coming out too. But I can imagine Suresh talking to Chinese in mandrain 🙂
Oh gosh – we need to hear about it Shoba!
Sri: remember that episode of ‘Big Bang Theory’ where Sheldon learns Mandarin?
Couldn’t stop laughing at your drawing!! The Minster of Agriculture is going to have a seizure for sure!!! LOL – glad you did n’t omit the “ben” part – sure gives the right “flavour” to the whole post.
Thanks Anu – your comment reminds about a Ben vs Behen post that I have to do.
Looking forward to that…
Reminds me of Appa’s pachas/pachchees bargain at Delhi! Well written, a laugh and a hoot all through!
Incidentally, why does Geeta Ben resemble a slightly deformed radish in the picture? Coincidence? I think not 🙂
Geeta Ben and the resemblance to Radish is just my bad drawing. Oh – our family does roll doesn’t it? the Pachees/Pachaas story begs blogging too!
Hope you will be an expert in (veg) dumbcharades soon..
We should do the dumb-C for veg in Tamil and Hindi for added effect.
Great post! Read more about Radish. This post is linked there.
It was quite entertaining .. and I really laughed at it a lot .. I wish you could have capture Geeta ben’s face when she saw your friends instead of you in the house … 🙂 ..keep writing such posts
Thanks Sugu 🙂 KEep reading….
I am sorry about that, but this post was funny because we all were poor at Hindi, but could find that language as our common ground.