Going back to a high school reunion after 3 decades is nothing short of illuminating. We had planned to meet regularly while leaving school. Then somehow, we all scattered into our various little lanes and holes, only to resurface like eager bunny rabbits after all these years.
As far as social experiments go, this has to be one of the most interesting.
Life seems to have been inventive, unique and predictable at the same time in all the ways it presented us with trials and tribulations. As we walked through the hallways of our school – it was curious to see how we fell back into familiar patterns of who we navigate towards. In 3 days time, it seems we fell back to familiar patterns and the intervening decades might not have happened at all.
This fascinating behavior led to an interesting discussion on the subject and development of morality and values. At what point in time do we actually develop values, and our internal moral compasses?
I was shocked to find out that morality can start to form under the age of 1, and can easily be noticed between the ages of 2-5. Of course, morality and value systems continue to develop in noticeable leaps and bounds – till we are 10 years of age, then as teens shaped by societal and peer pressure, and as adults. But are they largely shaped by our early childhood? If there are any psychologists or anthropologists who have studied this, please let me know your thoughts. I would be interested to know.
Morality & Values
Childhood friends, when met after decades apart, can resurface memories good and bad. It was interesting to see how friendships played out over all these years. Sometimes, geographic proximity helped shape adult bonds. Sometimes, the bonds of friendships survived geographic distances.
However, when gathered back in such a large group of classmates, it was interesting to note all the ways in which we fell back to familiar patterns in a matter of 3 days. The ones who were friends in school seemed to fall back into their familiar groups, even while a few new friendships were forged.
A friend and I fell into a stimulating discussion on morality and values. It is obvious that we are drawn to people with values we admire. So, when looking back at our childhood selves, when was the inner moral compass formed? How did we know whether to be attracted to kindness or the lack of it? Were we drawn towards lightness of being and joy?
Could we be trained into ways of coping – I am sure we can. Pavlov’s experiment is proof of that. Our own behavioral patterns formed so early in childhood help shape how we navigate through life. Some of us are conflict avoiders, some conflict seekers, others do not seek conflict, but do not flinch when it comes to them.
Is there an Inherent Moral Compass
I remember having a subject called Moral Science in primary and elementary school. It was a lovely class if only because the stories were always interesting, but how much did that help shape our inner compass, I wonder. It is true that reading about myths, and relatable struggles help us through our own. Hopefully, for most of us, our inner compass is strong in good times. It becomes tougher in times of stress and strife, and somehow life only makes these situations more and more complex.
Given that some of us had become friends when we were 5 years old, it was curious indeed. A quick google search reveals that moral based behaviors can be observed in children as early as 2 years old. So, is there such a thing as an inherent moral compass, and can we change ourselves enough and embrace growth through our learned experiences quite as much? Which brings us neatly to the nurture vs nature debate, and we could go on all day and all night.
There are values and morals shaped when we begin to question authority as teenagers, and then as adults when we learn a little bit more about all the shades of grey, character motivations, and the like.
What are your thoughts?
- Do you think that our moral choices begin to be shaped in infancy, and if so, can they be changed over time (not just in small increments but in polar ways)
- When that young, do we consciously migrate towards value systems that appeal to us, or not?
https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/morality/morality-quotes-to-help-us-better-understand-ourselves/
Nourish-n-Cherish 