Category: Humour

True Heaven on Earth

“Just try them! True Heaven on Earth is right here!” 

I find myself telling the children versions of this multiple times( in response to which I have multiple sets of eyes rolled at me). Parenting helps develop a thick skin like nothing else does. 

I roll my eyes right back at them and I am fairly sure I do the e-roll better than they do. I learnt eye-rolling as an art form as a young dancer from a pretty young age after all, I say with pride. The daughter disagrees: 

“Too much flounce – it should be subtle,” says the daughter. 

“That way, you can always deny you ever rolled your eyes?” 

She has the grace to laugh at least – “Yes.”

The son’s style is still developing, and therefore a lot more noticeable.                                        

Back to the problem of True Heaven on Earth, though, I use this term mostly with respect to fruits, and flowers – the marvelous, wonderful variety of them that we enjoy. Ephemeral joys, yes, but also eternal. 

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The children do not seem to recognize the joys of fruit-eating and it is somewhat of a disappointment. For once, I am  grateful that my childhood did not have easy access to chocolate. Maybe I too might have succumbed to chocolates in favor of the variety of fruit flavors.. 

Novembers in California smack of persimmons, apples, and pears. The satisfying crunch of these fruits after a day crunching leaves outside? There should be a word for that. 

In the spirit of grateful Novembers, I beamed around the home relishing these gifts of heaven spotting the home. Flower bouquets and fruit baskets fill the soul like nothing else does, and I was pampered enough by friends and family for gifting me with these over the past few days. The fruits and flowers smack of the bounties of our planet, but they also manage to evoke a sense of gratitude for the thrill of friendship and the memories of shared experiences.  

“All in one bite or one sniff!” I say.

“You’re weird!” the children chorus, and I agree whole-heartedly. Where the children are concerned, it is a compliment and I shall graciously accept.

I hum and prance through the rooms with a bounce in my spirit, and a shirt that proclaims ‘The Earth laughs in flowers’. Ralph Emerson might have said it, or a truly marvelous poet who attributed it to Emerson to give the beautiful phrase longevity. With the internet, I am never sure. Either way, it works.

🍁Sauntering🍁,🍁Strolling🍁, 🍁Scrunchfesting 🍁

The son and I pranced into the house with our bouquet of fall leaves. We went for a walk to feel the nippy November air on our faces. While out there, we ran after leaves fluttering down in the winds, and indulged in the inevitable scrunch party. 

“No one saw us jump and scrunch in the leaves, Appa!” he said entering the house wind-blown and happy.

“Are you sure?” said the husband, accepting the beautiful bouquet of fall leaves from us, and giving it right back to me with a flourish.

“ I saw some neighbors scuttle inside looking dubious at the activity outside. You sure it wasn’t you two?” 

The son guffawed loudly at that. I scrunched up my face – but was too happy to care. Who could when you’ve just been able to look at views like this?

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Seems only yesterday we were ushering in 2023 and now we are already looking at the final curtain calls of the splendid trees before the closing of the year. As usual, if I throw my mind back the year felt differently at different points in time. Bleak, dreary, joyous, hectic ,the travails of aging with parental figures, friends, events, work, school, volunteer work and so much more.

There is a book called the Secrets of Infinity in my library – Edited by Anonio Lamua, it is a gorgeous book. It gets taken out and seen every now and then just for the sheer brilliance of the topics and the range of topics in them. But there is one thing the book doesn’t quite put the finger on: the feeling of infinity in the repeating seasons of the Earth, the different joys of each month. 

The Tibetan Infinity Knot and the Ouroboros come close in their symbolism – but one of more to do with our actions and therefore Karma and the other a destruction/creation paradigm. 

“So, how do the leaves turn color?”, I said with a flourish revealing the book Summer Green to Autumn Gold – By Mia Posada. The book’s illustrations managed to capture the natural beauties outside, and we settled in to read the book contentedly. 

We flipped the pages comparing the leaves we had in our precious bouquet to the ones in the book. The final reveal of the pigment colors gave us the different colors.

🍁Carotenids : the pigments for the orange and yellow colors

🍁Anthocyanins: the pigments that are responsible for the purples and reds. 

🍁Tannins: responsible for the brown color.

“Trees must be beings of infinity!” , I said sighing happily and the son rolled his eyes.

The Light of Being

The evenings have been drawing in earlier and earlier. As if the natural tilt of the axis weren’t enough, there was a time change thrown in. The result is that my evening walk is in the company of the glittering stars, and I am grateful for these little reminders of light – as far away as they may be. 

One evening I found myself thinking of this and that on my evening walk. The stars twinkled above, the leaves crunched below. Though I could not make out the colors just then, I could imagine them well enough in my mind’s eyes – bright reds, yellows, deep maroons. 

Californian Novembers are magical indeed. 

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Where our northern or eastern counterparts would already be bracing for the winters, our autumn cloaks are just getting started. Our gingkos have only just donned their beautiful cloaks of buttery mellow yellow, the maples and oaks, their swirling cloaks of ruby reds, and thick velvety ones of deep maroon. I wondered when the cold would start and looked up at the stars instinctively. 

Albus Dumbledore seemed to wink at me through the stars: 

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”

– Dumbledore in the Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban 

I swished on for a bit pondering.

Deep in the epipelagic layers of the ocean, there are creatures who have taken this to heart. In the twilight zone, the only light they have is their own. How must that feel to them? The deepest darkest nooks and crannies of an unforgiving ocean made accessible only through their own bioluminescence. 

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In one fell arc bypassing lands and atmospheres, the stars and the bioluminescent life in the oceans seem to share a Light of Being. 

What are our sources for finding the light in ourselves – the means of switching on the inner lights? Good friends, warm meals, bracing walks in nature, the finest ideas in literature, art and music. Hygge. A halo that reflects the warmth and light within, in the harshest of winters, and the coolest of springs? If only we could all cast our own little patronus.

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Books: 

🤕 Boo-Boos 🤕

Do you know when you start to feel your age? 

An innocuous question popped up on my browsing sites. Really, sometimes I wish these systems weren’t omniscient. I might’ve searched up the best way to dress a flesh wound, but did that mean you use my demographics, cross-reference it with my potentially weak hips thanks to my age, and wrangle up half-baked questions and answers on when you actually start to feel your age?!

Preposterous.

If only someone would sue the internet for this nonsense. 

I feel fine. 

So what if I am slightly wobbly while descending the stairs after a fall two days afterward? It is perfectly normal isn’t it? I mean I am not a teenager anymore or in my twenties or in the decade after that for that matter. But so what?

A children’s book I’d picked up a few days ago from the library beamed up at me. Books: Ever the saviors I tell you.

The Boo-Boos That Changed the World: A True Story About an Accidental Invention (Really!) by Barry Wittenstein and Chris Hsu 

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The book is about a man, Earle Dickson, whose wife gets a lot of boo-boos. While a competent enough person with dressing of wounds and such, she is also aware of how hard it is to take care of wrapping the bandages and cutting the reels of cotton etc by herself, especially if one of the hands are injured. 

Thus was born the handy Band-Aid. Husband and wife worked on the design together and pitched the idea.

Luckily Dickson also works for Johnson & Johnson – the business that could take up an idea for boo-boo betterment. 

Despite the brilliance of the idea, it did not take off as easily. People still seemed to prefer the old-fashioned way of tending to their injuries. That’s when they hit upon the idea of Boy Scouts of America – a place where folks regularly hurt themselves, and wanted to get back to having a marvelous time as quickly as they could. (Children! The best boo-boo handlers in the whole world. I remember glorious years in which scraped knees and elbows meant nothing, other than a dusting off before running that next race to the eucalyptus tree down by the road. )

That did it. As Boy Scouts embraced Band-Aid, so did the rest of the nation. I beamed up at the son, who is a proud Boy Scout and had helped me with immediate first-aid with the boo-boo.

He then ordered some first-aid supplies off Amazon, and the site flashed that it would be available at my doorstep in a couple of hours time. We looked at each other, and said, “Wow! We are spoiled brats huh?! We just wait for it at home and peel-and-stick.”

https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/557760/the-boo-boos-that-changed-the-world-by-barry-wittenstein-author-chris-hsu-illustrator/

I stared back at the browsing link being recommended to me: So, when do you start to feel your age?

👻 Maybe when you realize that getting a boo-boo and taking off soon after is harder. 

🤕 Maybe it is when you groan your way downstairs from a simple boo-boo from days earlier. 

😈 Maybe it is when you yearn for that beautiful moment just before the boo-boo.

👻🎃 I Am Hopeful Because 👻🎃

I sat on All Hallows Eve bathed in an orange glow, marking and judging entries for a literature contest. If ever there was a content pumpkin contest, there I was, readymade. It was quite an enjoyable task, and I sat quietly reading stories, poems and essays on the topic, “I Am Hopeful Because”. 

Throughout the evening, I waddled out of my desk to open the door and bellowed, “Who dared to ring the bell? Ho ho ho!”. I thought I was doing pretty well till the son asked me why Santa was ho-ho-ho-ing on Halloween. Oh well!

Halloween is one of my favorite American festivals.  The house was reasonably well decorated. Pretty soon, penguins, vampires, mermaids, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches all come knocking on the door despite the ominous sign by the door that read, “Knock if you dare!”.

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 The son and his friends had a roaring Candy Exchange Business going on the side I understood later. He came into the house looking flushed from the cold, and bursting with news. Apparently, he’d been able to auction a Kit-Kat for 2 Twix, a Ghirardelli white chocolate piece, and an M&M packet. He also had instituted a monopoly on all the Sour Patch Candy, and found himself bartering and trading like the fellows on the stock exchange. I smiled. 

“How was your evening?” he asked. It had been one of those rare Halloween evenings when I had stayed put inside the home instead of gallivanting with the revelers. I love the atmosphere of Halloween as regular readers know, but this time a minor biking accident had me sitting inside, while the Halloween revelers roamed the candy laden streets. They mapped best routes, best homes to hit for the best candies resulting in rounds of discussion. It was all marvelous.

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I did miss the magic of the halloween streets with moonlight filtering through the clouds, black cats slinking through the streets, raccoons wondering what all the fuss was about, and chattering children racing towards lit up porches for some Halloween candy. But it was also a surreal, beautiful evening. A reminder of the joys of winter evenings, of warmth drawing in as the evenings became colder. That first feeling of Hygge. 

I told him that I was hopeful because the evening was full of well-behaved children. The children all seemed to be so happy to receive a piece of candy, even though they all live in an economy and a community where far too much sugar is available for consumption. One or two of them even returned a couple of pieces of candy when they’d had a few more than they thought they wanted. 

The sweet honesty of these children in times when we are constantly reminded of our flaws and failures was refreshing, and the gentle interactions through the evening with adults and children alike, was very pleasant indeed.

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“We’re all mad here.”

– Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

25 years on?

On a whim one week-end night we watched the Kung Fu Panda – 3 movie. This movie, in my mind, was a stroke of genius with respect to the storyline. All three Kung Fu Panda movies are brilliant when it comes to storyline, characters and humour. But this one was sublime in the way it helped us understand why Oogway stood by his decision of choosing Po – the panda, to be the Dragon Warrior, when he accidentally fell out of the sky as the choice for Dragon Warrior was being made. 

  • The first movie: Po destined to be the Dragon Warrior
  • The second movie: Po, the Dragon Warrior’s, background – where he came from, what happened?
  • The third movie: explains why Oogway the turtle stood by his decision to choose Po as the Dragon Warrior.

In the third movie, a villain, Kai, is wrecking the spirit realm so he can come back and drink the Chi (life force) from the major characters. He manages to come back to the physical realm and is shocked to see that nobody remembers him, but many seem to remember his arch nemesis, Oogway the Turtle. Well, Kai had died 500 years ago – so it was quite obvious that people had forgotten him, but what we were discussing is not that people had forgotten Kai, but how Kai managed to find his way around at all. 

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If someone were to fall asleep and wake up 25 years later, it would be hugely disconcerting. Think of all the things that have changed just in the past 25 years:

  • People now walk around with cell-phones – the equivalent of magic wands in fantasy stories these days. 25 years from now, people will wonder how folks in our generation ever got anything done without aid from these devices. We can’t seem to navigate to our destinations, talk to our dear ones,  or create images and thereby memories without our precious devices. 
  • The usage of the internet in the past 25 years. In many ways, our generation of software engineers crested the wave with the rising innovations in this space – search engines, email, chat, video conferencing, news channels, social media, streaming entertainment. If somebody went to sleep in 1990 and got up in 2025, it would be hugely disconcerting.
  • Rising economic fortunes mean that travel has become more achievable and adventures await more of us at every turn.
  • Reading has evolved – After maybe 500 years of only having the physical book, the Kindle paved the way for e-reading. The Internet opened doors for all types of reading: short bursts, medium posts, long articles. 
  • Entertainment – the kinds of entertainment itself has evolved so drastically. Streaming channels, live TV, YouTube videos, Twitch, online gaming
  • Payment methods: Where previously we needed access to banknotes as cash, we have gone to increasingly easier and secure methods of payment transactions. From high-end stores in New York to street vendors in rural India, the money language has evolved too.  

“Maybe human-beings are like frogs in water with respect to technology – slowly exposed to increasingly higher levels of complexity and we just adapted. Babies and children are truly amazing- imagine their learning curve!”, I said and we laughed.

Maybe Kai was going about it all wrong, we said after discussing some of this. Kai should’ve come back to Earth 500 years after Oogway had died and then, he’d have realized that nobody remembered Oogway either. More importantly, how did it matter whether anyone remembered you or not 500 years from now? You wouldn’t be here to know – you’d be partying in the spirit realm, wouldn’t you?

What are your guesses on how life would look 25 years from now?

Once Upon a Goat

The son and I stood by the river bed near our home once more gazing upon the goats in the riverbed. An endlessly fascinating pastime, we always return smiling and shaking our heads fondly at the kids and goats, and a little awe at the sheep dog whose job it is to herd them all.

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One evening, we saw two dogs gaze into each others eyes with an understanding that seemed to acknowledge their respective roles in life, while the goats gathered around looking curiously at the new dog behind the fence.

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“Hmm – maybe you should write about the goats huh?!” Said the son one day after we had spent a few minutes chuckling at their antics. I agreed. I had written a rather serious post by my standards, and I was in the mood for something light, something that shows the lightness of being, joie-de-vivre and all that. Goats seemed like a good option.

As luck would have it, the first book I had to read that evening was a children’s book on goats. I picked it off the shelf, and the son chuckled approvingly. “Oh – this is such a good book, right?”

“Yep! I love it too!” I said grinning too.

Children’s books are such a reliable source of light. Where else in this world would you be able to find as unalloyed a source of whimsy, fun, and a sheer exaltation of the nonsensical?

This book seemed to tick all of the above.

Once Upon a Goat – By Dan Richards, illustrated by Eric Barclay

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A king and a queen want to start a family and ask the fairy godmother for a kid who has “glowing skin, bright eyes and hair like ocean waves”.

I did wonder how they arrived at this combination to ask for in lieu of a hundred other qualities, but remember this is a fairy godmother asking them what they’d want. I suppose I’d be flustered too. What would you ask for?

Anyway, the fairy godmother, busy with hundreds of wishes like these I hope, grants them a kid with just these qualities. Only it is a goat kid and not a human one. The king and queen are flabbergasted, but go on to accept and love the goat kid anyway. Their lives are more messy than they’d have liked perhaps, and their rose bushes suffer a bit maybe, but otherwise, they are a happy family.

It is when the fairy godmother stops by to check on how the little family is faring, that she realizes her folly. In the meanwhile, a human baby is being raised by goats in the countryside. 

What follows makes for a hilarious take on families, and acceptance.

Hint: A large heart makes for great joy and from generosity of spirit stems more happiness.

Who knew goats would play such a big part in our laughter that day?

Raindrops on Roses

The tasks of the day done, I plonked myself on the window ledge, hoping to catch a glimpse of the waning moon before heading to bed. The nights in a waning moon cycle seem to hold a twinge of disappointment – the moon rises later and later. It is like the beautiful moon  is teasing us to forget its luminous glow before it starts up again, gaining in hope and luminosity as the waxing cycle kicks off.

I peered out of the window into the dark driveway outside and let out a gasp. It had been raining, or drizzling, and I was completely unaware. Oh!

Earlier that evening, the son and I had gone out for a stroll, hopefully clutching our umbrellas, and peering at the clouds overhead, but nothing happened. By the time we headed back the clouds had started parting, and we didn’t think anymore of it.

But now, sitting on the wooden ledge, I felt a pang. I have mentioned californian summers before – bursting with wildflowers, brown hills, aside, they also tend to linger on. By the time October rolls around, there is a distinct shabbiness to the summer looks – the flowers have dried out or faded on their stems, the hills have gone from a golden hue to a dull brown. All in all, there is a yearning for cooler days. 

I sat and watched the quiet wet scene for a few minutes longer. It felt good to do nothing for a few moments after a long day of doing. Sometimes, I feel Mary Oliver’s three selves (The child, the doer and the dreamer) are constantly being overshadowed by the doer.

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The child only peeks out occasionally, and when it does, it is always joyful, hopeful and wondrous. The promise of a new day, the beauty of a flower, the cool air after the rain and so on. The dreamer and the child self seem to get along quite well – one encouraging the other, teasing and prodding along the way. 

https://www.themarginalian.org/2016/10/12/mary-oliver-upstream-creativity-power-time/

This quiet contemplation at midnight was so refreshing, I had no desire to head to bed even though the adult self knew I must. The doer beckoned the next day.

The next morning as we stepped out into the fresh rain-covered morning, the son and I sniffed the cold air. We stopped to peer into a rose still wet from the rains of the previous day. A moment of peace nudged its way into the usually harried rush to school, and we looked up together smiling at the same time.

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‘Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?’

  • Mary Oliver

Maps in Books

It was a lovely week-end afternoon. We lounged about – each in our own worlds, forgetting the pressures of the world and reading. Earlier that day, the children and I had piled into the car and headed out to the library. I was given reading lists to catch up on. 

“Been a while since you read your children’s books huh?” said the son, handing me a few he’d picked up from the children’s section. I accepted the lot with gratitude. “Yes! Spirit-savers they are!” I beamed and he seemed pleased with himself.

“You really need to get a good go on world building. Harry Potter is all very well, but you must read the Throne of Glass, amma.” said the daughter. I looked a bit skeptical, but the daughter assured me that I was going to immerse myself in this world and love it.

I gingerly opened the book like it was a cat with claws and would pounce when awoken from slumber. Teenagers (or at least the ones I interact with on a regular basis) really seem to like fantasy – most books I hear them gushing about are SF/ fantasy after all. The first page had a map of Eritrea, and I felt a small smile tug at my lips. She detected it, and quickly went in for the close, “Nice map isn’t it? Can you ever resist a book with a map? I know I can’t. Aww…look at this place – the mines, the capital, the desert. Hmm.”

“Over the course of the series, I feel like I’ve visited everywhere!” she said. I nodded absentmindedly. I did like books with maps. EarthSea, Lord of the Rings, Wizard of Oz, and so many more. Maybe it has to do with this fascination and awe for those with spatial skills. Maybe it has to do with the possibilities of imagining ourselves in another space altogether. Whatever it was, I opened the book, ready to enter teenage conversations again after the book was read. 

The daughter, I realized had ulterior motives for encouraging me thus. Apparently, she and a friend had had a bet that I wouldn’t finish reading the book – too ‘teenagy ‘ they’d thought. The daughter, of course, said nothing of this till I was well into the book . Celaena Sardothien had taught her well.

I had seen the books lining the shelves. Large tomes, and going up to 7 books. If I liked one, I did have a series ahead of me, and that was an intriguing thought. 

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I did like the book. I loved the pluck of the women, the cluelessness of the crown prince, and the competence of his guard. Whether I would go on to read all 7 books, I don’t know, but the first book was a good one, I said to the daughter. 

She smiled and said she was not particularly fussed either way as she only wanted me to read the first one to win her bet. Oh well!

The Storms of Vincent

Regular readers know that I am a pluviophile (one who loves the rain). On my recent visit to India, I was out walking around the apartment complex our family lived in one night, and found myself caught in the most brilliant and relentless rain they’d had in months apparently. 

I was delighted. 

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I was on a late night phone call to the family back in the US, and I rushed to the building in the center taking refuge there and looking stupendously happy for someone who had no idea how to get back home in the rain, or if the door would be open for me when I did get back. None of that mattered just then. Living in the present and all that. I poked my tongue out to catch a few raindrops.

“Hello!” said a neighbor, and I gulped feeling foolish. She smiled and I smiled back sheepishly, hoping she hadn’t seen. 

“I don’t think this is going to stop just yet. I am just going to run for it. “ she said and gave me one of her dazzling smiles, and plopped off through the rain. 

I stood transfixed by the pouring sheets of rain. It would have definitely been classified as ‘a storm’ in California.  Lightning lit up the skies, and thunder rumbled. It was beautiful.

I don’t know how long I stood there gawking like that, but soon I realized that the downpour was not stopping any time soon, And it was close to midnight. Unless I wanted to spend the whole night outside, I would have to run through the rain. So I did. I splashed into the house – luckily the daughter was still awake, chatting with her friends on the phone and she opened the door. She gave me a disapproving cluck and said “Oh my gosh – let me get you a towel.”

As I watched the rain pour itself out, the little rivulets of water sliding down the building walls, and the flashes of lightning illuminating the cityscape every now and then, I found I could not sleep and picked up the Vincent and Theo book by my bedside, and flipped to the part where Vincent likes painting storms.

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Excerpt:

It’s been stormy and stormily beautiful to Vincent in Scheveningen lately, and into the squalls he goes. He is just starting to paint with oil and is not used to them yet, but he takes oil paints into the storm to paint the beach, the waves crashing one after the other, the wind blowing, the sea the color of dirty dishwater. He makes one of his first oil paintings, View of the Sea at Scheveningen, with a fishing boat and several figures on the beach. The wind is fierce, kicking up the sand. Sand sticks to the thick, wet paint.

Vincent loves capturing the turbulence of a storm. “There’s something infinite about painting”, he tells his brother. “I can’t quite explain – but especially for expressing a mood, it’s a joy.”

A few days later, on a quieter day, he sketches the beach. Sending the sketch to Theo, he describes a “Blond, soft effect and in the woods a more somber, serious mood. I’m glad that both of these exist in life.”

Wild and somber. Room for both. Room for all.

https://ontrafel.vangogh.nl/en/story/167/traces-of-a-nasty-little-storm

Please check out the View of the Sea painting and further details here

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Vincent’s life was a stormy one too. He was not an easy person to live with and this caused many rows with his family, though he was intensely dedicated to all of them: his parents, siblings (especially Theo), uncles etc.

I looked out of the window again. We all live through the storms in our lives. But, the good thing is that no storm lasts forever. Not all living beings would have the luxury of drifting off to sleep like that, and that made me very grateful for a warm bed and dry clothes.

“There is peace even in the storm”

― Vincent van Gogh, The Letters of Vincent van Gogh

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