Frothing Filter Coffee

Ask any South Indian Brahmin who loves his coffee about Filter Coffee and you will catch him at his explanatory best. The rambling man starts his coffee train with enthusiasm and stops at no stations – no Sir! Not till he has exhausted his considerable coffee knowledge can he stop. Then, there are those who love the coffee but not really the talking type: the Grunters – these men have produced nothing but grunts as responses all their life, but the filter kaapi makes them blossom. They love it and will show you what grunt love is. I don’t suppose anyone has spent any time studying Grunt quotients (they should), but if they did, they’d notice some grunts have a certain amiability to it, while others are clearly signalling you to shup up. I digress to the topic of Grunters when in fact I want to talk about Filter Kaapi.

Point being that I am married to a coffee lover. While he does not insist on his cuppa in the morning, I can see the joy he gets when he spots a steel tumbler full of the frothing filter coffee.

I don’t blame the process. It is designed to titillate the nostrils and get even the non-coffee lovers to get just a little interested. That is why I put up with it. The coffee filter I mean. I will say this though – That blasted bit of twisted metal is designed to test the limits of patience on Gautama Buddha.

Before I get him the coffee frothing at the top like this:

I am frothing at the mouth like a bear whose honey comb just bit him:

By the time the coffee made its way to his mouth, I have only sustained the following injuries:
1) Slopped burning water over at least one finger
2) Spoilt my dress with a teeny bit of the mucky mixture that is coffee powder and chicory and boiling water.
3) Burnt my fingers while trying to dislodge the top portion of the coffee filter with the bottom portion
4) Bruised my ego with the fact that I can’t make coffee without making the kitchen counter look like a war zone when I can pull off whole meals with half the mess.

Here is the process: (For those interested :
1) Wiggle nose at coffee powder
2) Take a bit of coffee powder and put it in the top portion of the filter.
3) To be truly successful, one must never be complacent and so it is with the coffee filter. If it sits smugly on the bottom, it won’t drip. So, it has to ‘sit on one butt’
4) Then take scalding water and slop it down over the top and half close the filter. Fully close, and the top part may get comfortable. Make sure that the lid will get some of the mucky mixture to spill over (onto your finger holding the filter preferably).
6) Gently tap a number of times with a spoon till you hear the steady drip-drip from within. If you don’t hear the drip-drip sound, holler at anyone talking in the near vicinity to keep quiet and try again.
7) The flaming coffee decoction is now ready. You can now use the liquid in the bottom to make coffee. But before that, you have to surmount the task of holding the insanely hot filter with a deathly grip and twisting the top and bottom portions.
8) If you are sufficiently undamaged after this, just pour this and some milk to prepare coffee.
9) Wipe that grimace from the face and give coffee.

I like Tea.

16 thoughts on “Frothing Filter Coffee”

  1. Hee! Hee! I used to make such ghastly coffee that I converted my husb into a tea drinker. (No mean feat considering he used to own a coffee mfg. plant!!!)

  2. “That blasted bit of twisted metal is designed to test the limits of patience on Gautama Buddha.” – I love that!

  3. I really gather my love and attempt this sometimes and the 3, 4 happens and it really makes me stop doing it. I used to be a lover and just for the pain and managing chai for Anand, I switched to chai and enjoy this when I visit any southindyans place.

  4. My spouse and I absolutely love your blog and find
    most of your post’s to be precisely what I’m looking for. Do you offer guest writers to write
    content for you personally? I wouldn’t mind creating a post or elaborating on a few of the subjects you write related to here. Again, awesome site!

  5. Oh my, saumya…. its like you have written what i go through every day morning! That twisted piece of metal..really!

    love how you put into words the every day trivia (or are they?) and make me feel like a sane person. I tell my husband…there is one more person who thinks just like me, except she is a wonderful writer & creative person πŸ™‚

  6. I enjoy tapping the top with the lid of the filter. And alert my life partner in case his most sensitive nose ditches him by not carrying the aroma to his brain. Oh! The surge of emotion in his face has to be seen.

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