Sneeze Freeze

The past week has been rough. The nose acted up and sneezed its way through nights and what should have been tasty meals.

I remember someone telling me during my highly impressionable youth that if you stared at a bright light when you feel like sneezing, the sneeze will freeze midway through. So, you can go back to normal from a eyes-puckered-stomach-clutched-eyes-watering stance to a normal one without even sneezing. It has happened once or twice and always makes me laugh. So, I spent one morning staring at the Sun every few minutes. After this enlightening experience, I tottered into the home partially blind only to bang into sofas and chairs placed in my path while sneezing just as hard as before.

Imagine then, how special I felt when I saw the world took note of my misery and decided to have a program on National Public Radio about sneezing.

I smiled through my sneezes the whole way through. Apparently, there are some folks who seem to react with sneezes at unexpected stimuli – like while eating mint. Throw something like this at me, and I had to try. I popped some mint into my mouth to see whether I would sneeze more, but as it turns out, I belong to the category who does not sneeze at mints. In fact, I seemed to belong to the category that stifled sneezes with mint. I laughed – a deep, villainous laugh at my system. I scoffed at the sneezes that I paralyzed within me using the simple method of having couple of mints, and boarded my train.

Usually mints are supposed to keep you fresh and awake. But the sudden stoppage in the sneezing, meant my body saw this as perfect opp. to catch a snooze and before I knew it, I was dozing with a minty freshness that little things like railway announcements could not tap me out of. I slept clean past my station, and spent the fresh morning hours grumpily waiting on an alien platform, waiting for a train to chug in – in the opposite direction. When something like this happens, the world suddenly seems to set itself in slow motion. I spent the precious moments musing all the while that if a sneeze out of my system can make it at 40 mph, why can’t I feel like I am getting somewhere at that speed?

The article ends on this enigmatic note
“Want to stifle a sneeze? It’s possible, Meltzer says. Just press hard on the bridge of your nose.”

I just might have my nose in a bandage when you see me next, but you know why.

7 thoughts on “Sneeze Freeze”

  1. Bless you! You do write interestingly!
    Sneezes are such a pain when you sit thru something important like a Board meeting. It hides somewhere for about an hour and just when a question is popped on your side, out it comes…Aaa…choo..!!!
    End up with a lot of “Excuse me..s” and sheepishly ask for the question to be repeated and Aaa…choo…again!

  2. Oh…sneezing is truly a pain. I sneeze the most when I am driving.On a busy highway that be quite dangerous since you ve lost sight of the road for a second – I must pratice sneezing with my eyes open!!!

    1. We shall start a research group if these two studies can be combined. How to sneeze with your eyes open and how to trigger a sneeze at an opportune moment? IF we figure out Jayashree’s question, your board meeting could go like this.

      Fielding a question in your board meeting with Messrs Cheng Lee and Al Chu. “Yes, my response is along those lines AA CHHOO”
      “Sorry, I am Al Chu, not Aah Choo!” interrupts Monsieur Al Chu
      “Yes….Sorry Mr. Aaah CHOO>”

      And so it goes!

  3. Reminds of Everybody loves raymond episode where Ray sneezes loud (me me) and Debra sneeze quietly and fighting about it 🙂

    Like your style of taking mundane thing and converting into funny blog.

    One question to ponder: Why do we say “Bless you” when someone sneezes? We don’t do that when someone coughs etc.?

    1. Sri – often thought of that. In fact, I had a side note on the number of times I’d been blessed in the past few days, but saved it for another post. Coming up!

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