I’m a Queen

I finally succumbed. I ravaged around the aisles of capitalist America. I looked for deals. The process was made more difficult because procrastination in all things shopping has become my motto of late. Finally, I bought a dress. I should add an expensive dress. I should also add: A dress made of cheap material. The dress is hideous when seen by itself – it was a colour most men abhor in short. It was bright and had sparkles or glitter on it. A shiny dress.

But, on a little girl, it passed off as Princess robes.

The Princess strutted with the dress, a crown and wand to match for 3 whole days. I swear, if I went for a walk and saw a flower that colour, I’ll fall ill. I am not going for walks in fear.

That’s what Halloween did to me.

There were Halloween parties and carnivals starting on Friday and lasting well into the Sunday. Vampires with rosy cheeks and cuddly skeletons apart, I had my fair share of princesses. They all looked adorable as they clamoured around with a trick-or-treat. 

You know how Shakespeare said “A rose is a rose by whatever name you call it” ? Folks I know, have bandied this about often enough to make it a philosophy. A book is a book, a tulip is a tulip, a lilac is a lilac and a phone is a phone… I’d go on, but in the interest of the general public, if you’d like more examples, please feel free to email me. I’ll spend considerable time giving you more. Me being the astute observer and all that, I deduced that a Princess is a Princess.

Turns out I was quite wrong. You have to be specific.

Which princess?

The purple princess?

BAM – please go back to your basics lessons and get that straight.

Is it Snow White or Cinderella or Ariel?

I didn’t know it was a Science. Well, my daughter wanted to be Ariel in a mauve dress. Apparently, Ariel dresses only in Green and Blue. So, I bought a mauve dress and stuck an Ariel wand on her.

I thought myself resourceful at the time. I even went so far as to call myself creative. I managed to convince the daughter. She declared that one can’t be Ariel just with her wand. So, I explained to her that she could be ANY princess this way. She agreed and I beamed.  The world was happy, the sun shone…

What a shock I was in for?! I have been decried and shunted out from the parlours of the learned because of this egregious error. Princesses and fairies with and without baby teeth pointed out my mistake without reservations.  I am rattled I tell you. I am going to apply to the Institute of Fairy Tale Sciences this Winter. I need your faith in me to secure admission.

Add to that the previous trip to Disney on Ice – Princess Classics, where all things female and younger than 20 were dressed as Princesses including my young one; and I have been a Queen a long time now. A Queen,  lacking in the knowledge that Ariel only dressed in Green or Blue. Oh well…