Sleep Clubs

I admire people belonging to the other club, solely because I know I don’t have a chance of ever belonging to that club. I may do the things the other club members do, but forever I shall pledge my allegiance to the my prized club – the club I really belong to!

This is the way I look at it. You can categorize people into the following categories:

(1) Those who like to get up early in the morning when the birds begin their chirping.
(2) Those who like the stillness of the night, and prefer to complete all their tasks before hitting the sack.
(3) Those who neither like staying up late to complete their tasks nor like getting up early to complete their tasks. In short, those who don’t care about completing their tasks.

* By task, I mean anything from working, studying to watching a movie/cleaning.

Everyday, I get up early, leave for work early etc. But I really feel like I only belong to (2). I love my hot cuppa when the sun has moved halfway across the sky, and the birds are active and the world is already busy. Gone are the school holidays when the cold and inclement weather just made the morning snuggle even more enticing.

Ahh….late morning sleep!

PS: How coincidental that 2 days after this post of mine V.Gangadhar writes about the exact same thing in the Hindu!
http://www.hindu.com/mag/2007/06/17/stories/2007061750060400.htm

Dhania…

San Francisco has a lovely chain of eateries that cough up amazing sandwiches. It is called Specialty’s Cafe. Yesterday, I took my sumptuous bite into one of them, and guess what I found – a tiny dhania seed.

Nothing surprising – just was intrigued to see dhania seeds used in any other type of cuisine – especially American. Right enough, I wiki-ed it, and found that dhania seeds are not usually used in European (except in Portigal) and American cooking. Well…..what can I say other than I love the flavour of coriander and its seeds, and relished on!

I love playing the game of guessing the ingredients in a restaurant when I am eating my favorite dishes, and wonder every now and then as to how many people do that.

Privacy ?!

It is time for me to talk about it. I have tried to keep my silence, and wander on with the vague uncomfortable feeling. Slowly, the vaguely uncomfortable turns to slightly disconcerting, and then takes on a mildly put-offish, and soon reaches a point where it bothers me enough to blog about it. I feel so strongly about it. It never lets me feel otherwise. Everyday, every few hours, there it is to remind me of the sweet freedoms that I have almost forgotten. The sanctity of the experience seems lost forever with these designs. The joy of the cleanliness factor is nullified by the ‘lack of closure’ factor.

Yes…I am talking about the restrooms. Why have them conceal only a portion of the cubicle? Why expose a portion of your leg during the process? There you are blissfully releasing the pent-up “stuff” when you are suddenly aware of another presence because you can see their feet. Worse yet is when these folks actually recognize you by your footwear and holler at you through the cubicle walls?

What does it take for a little extra privacy?!

Food

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/05/08/AR2007050801960.html

I was reading this news article, about the Queen Elizabeth’s dinner in reciprocation of George Bush’s presidential dinner. The dinner was served in Manning’s residence (Mannings is the British ambassador in US)

“Under Manning’s roof, guests dined on wild Scottish smoked salmon (appetizer), roast rib of veal (main course) and a summer pudding (dessert). Four wines were served, and the queen asked everyone to drink to the president and first lady Laura Bush, to the future of Britain and the United States and to the countries’ “enduring friendship.”

I don’t know how hard it is to make roast rib of veal(http://www.kycattle.org/recipes.cfm?recipeid=4). Assuming it is really difficult, and takes hours of pain-staking effort – I have trouble stomaching the fact that there were totally 3 dishes. I suppose you can cut your roast rib of veal into 4 equal pieces and sample with 4 different types of wine, giving you the delusion of variety.

My Indian upbringing jarred when I saw this new item, and also realised just how much importance we place on food. I think all our social gatherings hover around food. Our wedding banters have the supreme ability of stumping the most gluttonous eater. The precise statistics are unavailable, but I presume 50% of the wedding banter involves asking one another whether they ate food. At my brother-in-law’s wedding, it was surprisingly easy to make conversation with folks I saw for the first time in my life. All I had to do was smile and ask whether they had food or would like some coffee.

At a royal dinner, there must be a hundred topics to steer clear of for political reasons. The weather is too boring. What do you ask people after the “How are you”, if food is out.

Manning had served as ambassador in India, and I am imagining the chefs of the the President (CP) and the ambassadorial chefs (CA) met at a bar.

CP to CA: Phew! This queen’s dinner tired me out.
CA: Really? what did you make?
CP: Pakoras, Salad, Soup, bajjis for appetizers.
Pilaf, Naan, Aloo paratha, Chicken Tikka Masala, Shahi lamb curry, Malai matter panner, Malai kofta, Hyderabadi biriyani, Raita and Pickles for the main course
Ras malai, gulab jamuns, Kheer for desser
CA: Yeah! Last night, I was really tired too. I had to make wild Scottish smoked salmon (appetizer), roast rib of veal (main course) and a summer pudding (dessert).
CP: HEY! That’s not fair.
CA: Sure is – took me the same time, and people enjoyed it too. See my news item – and where’s yours to compare?!
CP: BAH!

How late is too late and how early is too early?

Every so often, I try to answer this philosophical question. You are in a conference and you stare at the brilliant radiance eminating from the shiny baldness of the speaker. The eminent guy is throwing jargon around like hailstones. You can start firing off your questions rightaway.

Self: What does the 3rd word in your previous sentence mean?
Shiny head: Blank stare….AND’?
Self: No…the word before ‘AND’

The moment this happens, you give shiny head the upper hand, because he can say, you have to be patient. He will explain everything eventually. AND you have instantly alienated everybody else in the room, who either wants to enjoy the monotone and relax, or find it an unnecessary interruption.

You wait for a while assuming that the jargon will eventually dribble down to a few more often used terms before you ask for clarifications. Take this as an exercise in your next technical seminar. You pen down all the fancy words that you want clarification on, and put a statistical indicator near the words. Soon, you know the shiny head’s favourites. You are still seeking clarification remember.

Shiny head’s list: Cognac, TR!FS, GORR

So, all you need to do is wait for the next breather to seek clarification. Now, you look around the room, and everybody nods looking as though they are grasping everything.

Cognac’s blah…blah will be used while TR!FS schedules an intermediate transmission routing via GORR.

blah….blah…..blah Cognac meanwhile responds to GORR…blah blah.

The following approaches are available to you at this juncture:

1) Look equally knowledgeable, and nod your head convincingly without falling asleep.
2) Look around for the person who nods the most and ask them to explain. If the concerned person was following strategy (1), it would make them look like a prized fool and provide for some entertainment.
3) Play a word-game while pretending to take notes and run into the arms of the search engine called Google at the nearest opportunity!

I wonder how people managed before Google!

EMERGENCY LIQUIDATION! STORE CLOSING!

We are out couch shopping. Suddenly, we look at all the mails for furniture deals without taking them directly to the waste bin without a glance.

We found this store with banners in BOLD RED all over the city. The store is closing NOW, the placards proclaimed. So, we went to the place with the lure of finding a good deal.

Everything must go!!Owner Lost Lease. EMERGENCY LIQUIDATION SALE!!

You would think the store owners have to purchase their air tickets only after selling their merchandise, and leave the country by this evening.

We were unsure, but stepped in anyway. The store was full of furniture – a large store with all varieties of furniture – dressers, beds, children’s beds, tables, corner pieces – everything except couches of course. So, after the first glance, the stroll through the store turned recreational. Ominous signs of liquidation loomed large over our heads wherever you turned. I walked through, wondering if the store had a particular table in Cherry wood finish, since the display model looked dull.

This is where it starts getting entertaining. There was a helpful shelf with all the available wood colors they have. And the note on the shelf was even more helpful. It added, that if I didn’t find what I liked, all I had to do was tell the owner, and he would order the color for me.

Maybe, my inventory management knowledge base were rusty. I always thought that if you are closing IMMEDIATELY, you aim at reducing inventory, not ordering more to satisfy new customers. So, if they were willing to order new furniture, while holding his existing furniture inventory, what were all the EMERGENCY LIQUIDATION signs doing all over the place?

PS: This month had a lot going on, and blogging took a back-seat. So, I am back with 2 posts in a row today. I sure missed my blogger!

Speeding:

This is about the terrible accident that collapsed the Mc Arthur intersection. An accident is an accident, and probably has no reasons, but still I can’t help thinking:

If the accident was caused by over-speeding on the curve, what was the driver thinking? So, the truck toppled over, the driver got out, ran to a gasoline bunk, called in a taxi, and then left to the hospital. At what point did the truck explode bringing down a maze of freeways with it? It is remarkable that no one died. As soon as it toppled, he probably knew the truck would explode. But still getting out of the truck and running on the freeway seems to be a humongous effort. How could a fire like that be put out?

If he was simply testing the limits of the trucks strength on curves, couldn’t he have chosen an exit where the curves are sometimes much more than the Mc Arthur. Why on the busiest intersections in Bay Area? I know the trucker’s conscience would be heavily relieved that nobody died, but still accidents such as these make me wonder how vulnerable the whole system is.

While driving back yesterday, I was in the car, when I saw 2 idiots in pick-up trucks racing each other. I call them idiots because those 2 had absolutely no regard to the hazards they were causing to the others on the roads. Weaving in and out of lanes at break-neck speeds. If something happens to them, at least they knew what were doing. But when an accident occurs, it seldom hurts only those who are knowingly erring. In spite of such a huge wake-up call on speeding in the morning, that every evening there are folks who do it – well….find a word for them will you?

1st April Long ago

This incident happened many moons ago. But I remember it as if it was yesterday. My father gets very excited and involved in the purchase of anything new. He spends weeks gathering pamphlets, relevant or otherwise, about the product he intends buying. Then after several weeks of agonizing indecisiveness, he settles for a brand on which he has no research material. It is a sure-fire success strategy that he has adopted for many decades. We usually wait till the process is over before quietly trashing all the pamphlets.

That year, he had gone in for a new colour television. It was a major financial decision in the early days. Add to the whole equation that we lived in a remote hill-station, and bringing the television home requires ingenuity of a different kind. Rightfully, there was much ado in the house and neighbourhood.

My brother loves fiddling around with gadgets of all sizes and shapes. Around 90% of the conversation between father and son at that point in time revolved around how my brother should not be fiddling around with things that did not concern him. That being the background, my brother decided to rope me in on his scheme to fluster my father.

A while later, I nonchalantly called my father for watching a program. He strolled in, we switched on the television, and only the audio would come on. He kept pressing the remote, but you just couldn’t get any video signals. I suggested in a worried tone that the picture tube may be out. I still have my father’s picture taken then in my mind’s camera. He was genuinely worried – I can make an attempt at the list of things that would have been crossing his mind at the time, but it would probably be too long, and varied.

My brother had the look of a stuffed frog in the background, bursting at my dad’s perplexity. Finally, it was he who gave it away since he could no longer stifle his giggles. He had reduced the brightness to zero, and the contrast to the highest setting so that the video signals would always be black.

I loved that 1st of April joke, and we still joke about it! I wonder what our kids are going to do to us!

School Play

Schools have a method of making every child feel important. In my school, especially in the younger classes, the goal was to get as many children as possible onto the stage. Rounds of auditions were held for roles requiring no dialogues to speak of. The whole process instilled a sense of pride and the camaraderie was memorable. Every child wrote home stating they were to participate in the play on Founder’s Day, and parents would take time to gather from all parts of India to see their off-spring shine forth and perform on stage. Well … not exactly, since most children would be part of a queen’s maids or fairies or some such similar thing, and just stand on the stage long enough for a photo-op. The point is: it was a major highlight in their lives.

As I grew older, and occupied my status as an aunt, I was invited several times to performances of nieces and nephews. One such performance a decade ago still gives me goose-bumps. My niece, V, was to perform on stage as a Sunflower in her nursery school. Preparations were on at a feverish pace. She would sing and practice religiously everyday. I was there dressed in my best clothes to watch my dear niece perform.

I stepped back-stage before the program started, and wished her luck, before snaking my way through the crowds to an inconspicuous chair in the rear-end of the auditorium.

This is where things start getting interesting.

We were ready for the “Sunflower Song & Dance”. V stepped on stage, and the sunflower field was before us. To state it mildly, V’s vocal chords are noticeable even in a noisy bunch of first graders. She stepped on stage, scoured the audience and started singing. All this while, she was combing the audience evidently looking for me – her favourite aunt. She spotted me, stopped singing, pointed at me and waved – “Hi chitthi!” .

I have never got a nastier jar in my life! I slowly felt the people farm turn and look at me. I turned red with embarrassment. I could have done the beetroot song and dance just there but I went with sinking as low as possible into my chair, and prayed for the sunflower dance to be over!

What brings these reminiscences back after all these years you might ask – aah a good question. This time, it is the role of my nephew in his School play, which I will have to miss on account of living half a moon away from him. Nevertheless, I look forward to the narration of the event with gusto. Here is the first account from my sister:

I received a circular last week from Siddu’s school stating that he was selected for the school concert and that he was to be sent to school for practice even after the exams. I beamed all over and thought ‘ How proud I am! Now I know why my parents were always proud when I was performing on stage during Founders’ ! I promptly blew the trumpet to some select close friends too! He went for the rehearsal yesterday and I couldn’t wait to hear about his role!

I asked him and he gave me his usual cynical reply ‘big deal‘ !! I gave him a talking and said it was a big deal of course and these are the things that would take him a long way in life- he would become confident and face an audience with no stage fear etc etc! He listened to my monologue and said ” Amma , I am a clown in the play and there are many such clowns. That’s why it is not a big deal!!!” I tried to hide my disappointment and asked him if it was an important part. He said ‘”Amma, stop getting so excited! There are atleast a dozen clowns and I am just one of them. I am having lots of fun with my friends so this practice time is cool.They won’t even miss me.”

I was persistent and said “So what are you supposed to do in the play? Are you going to say something on the stage?”. He said ” Yeah” and went off. So I raced behind him and said ” See you said it won’t make a difference but you actually have something to say on stage. Take your part seriously. Do you have any dialogues to learn by heart? Come I will help you. ” He sighed- ” Amma, I learnt my part the first time Sir said it. Basically I come cart wheeling on to the stage, whistle, make a noise with my nose closed and then stand in a corner with all the other clowns. After some time, one of the clowns punch me and push me down. I fall down flat. Then I raise my arms from the ground and say ‘ I am dead’. So what dialogue are you talking about? ”

See the way the human mind starts thinking between nursery school and 5th grade? The same role in first grade would have had him rehearsing his part at home, and exacting reviews from folks at home. Nevertheless, performing is great fun, and an important part of growing up. That letter opened a flood of memories – all pleasant!

Lazy Block

Whenever I am particularly lethargic about blogging, I like to think that I suffer from a writers block.

I could call it a Pianist block,(I like to think that the effects of my work are similar to the musical effects of a piano concerto – I was never told dreaming is wrong!) but I have never stepped within a furlong of a piano without disastrous consequences.

So I could just simply call it a Lazy block. Now that would make “Lazy” my profession. So when folks come up to me, and ask me what I do for a living, I could say:

“I work as a lazy”

That is one sentence I’d like to throw around the English speaking populace and gauge their degree of recoil. That would give me subject for more blogging – Ha!

Last year: same time A story of …
Happy Women’s Day!