Analyzing Love

The niece & I were discussing the what-ifs, what-abouts, and why-nots of life. A vibrant character, she is also blossoming into a lovely young lady, and I told her so. She laughed.

“So do you believe in soul-mates?” she asked reminding me intensely of the sort of things the daughter would throw my way in terms of conversation.

“Yes!” I said without hesitation. I hope all of us have had that tug of friendship or love where we do not know why exactly we love a person, but we do. People name it different things: wavelength match, soul mates etc.

She tried narrowing it down though, to whether there is a soul-mate, whether destiny plays a role in determining our love lives and so on.

After a chatty session in which I got to enjoy the perspectives of the younger generation , I finally threw up my hands and said, “I don’t think we should analyze love too much. Just be glad that we can give and receive love.” 

She was kind enough to not roll her eyes at that, but I knew what it must’ve cost her to do so. “That is love!”, I said, and this time she did roll her eyes. 

All the talk about love and destinies and soul-mates and what not got me thinking on what a messy business life and love is. 

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Love in Literature

In the book, Forest of Enchantments, Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni talks about all the different things love makes us do. This is a retelling of the epic saga, Ramayana, from Lord Rama’s wife and consort, Sita’s point of view.  

“My first lesson on nature of love was that in a moment it could fulfill the cravings of a lifetime, like a light that someone might shine into a cavern that has been dark for a million years.”
― Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni, The Forest of Enchantments

It is true:

Love anchors us, and unhinges us at the same time

It refines, and sometimes defines us

Love is predictable 

It also makes us do unimaginable things

Love keeps us rational

It also makes us behave irrationally

As quixotic and frustrating as it all is

Love is our only hope

I thought of all the heartbreak and hurt feelings that Love leaves in its wake,  of all the great stories of love that play out in our lives. Every single person around us has been affected by love or the lack thereof. We only need ask, and they only need tell.

It is my fervent hope that we all feel the positive and nourishing powers of love – whether from a friend, parent, uncle, aunt, teacher, guide, maid –  at some point or the other. Every loving interaction has contributed to who we are, and why we are the way we are. 

As Jane Austen says,

There are as many forms of love as there are moments in time.”

-Jane Austen, Mansfield Park

Even the love we feel for each person is defined by moments in time.  So how can we rationalize, predict, counteract, and otherwise analyze this marvelous force? There is only one thing for it – be grateful.

It is why most of our literature, songs, ballads, and poems all need either love or war to make it enduring, as the daughter so eloquently put it, a few weeks ago.

War & Peace, Love & Power

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Author: nourishncherish

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